DEAR MISS MANNERS: We just received wonderful news: Our 34-year-daughter and her husband are expecting their first child.
She was born with cerebral palsy that mostly affected her legs; life hasn’t always been easy for her, but she’s able to get around and has lived a mostly normal life.
What really galls me is that I’ve told a few people my daughter is pregnant and they actually said to me, “Is she going to be OK? Can she actually have a child?”
I was floored when they said that. I said, “I’m not sure what you mean. Do you want to explain –” and then they would say, “Oh, nothing, we just thought because of her condition …”
Comments like that really anger me, and I’m not sure how to respond without really blowing a gasket. I think they are rude and make it sound like my daughter is “damaged” in some way. How should I handle these insensitive comments?
Miss Manners: She threw a party and then she billed us for it
Miss Manners: She damaged my car and got mad when I asked her to pay
Miss Manners: It cost $400, and my cat really misses it
Miss Manners: The right way and two wrong ways to say ‘I can’t eat that’
Miss Manners: Why should I go to the funeral after they ignored my pain?
GENTLE READER: As you have discovered, it is a bad idea to ask such people to explain, because then they do. Rather, you should make it clear that you will not tolerate that line of questioning.
The civil way to do this is to respond to their words, not their meaning. So to the question about whether your daughter can have a child, Miss Manners suggests, “That is the usual result of pregnancy, isn’t it?” Other references to her “condition” would entitle you to explain, “Her condition has been diagnosed as pregnancy.” Then, as a prompt to what the reaction should have been: “… and we are all thrilled.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At what rank should we discontinue addressing people with honorifics after they are no longer in the role? Presidents seemingly remain presidents forever. Diplomats are ambassadors for life. Congress members, ditto. Generals and admirals seem to get the same treatment. So should we call our acquaintance John Smith “lieutenant” or “sergeant”?
GENTLE READER: Well, the rule is that unique titles, such as president of the United States, are held by only one person at the same time. Nobody follows this rule, least of all former presidents, who always address one another by that title.
Miss …read more
Source:: The Mercury News – Latest News
Dustin Johnson highlights | Round 3 | Genesis | 2021
In the third round of The Genesis Invitational 2021, Dustin Johnson recorded three birdies against 3 bogeys to remain even through 13 holes before play was suspended due to darkness. Johnson is 7-under-par for the tournament. The PGA TOUR returns to iconic Riviera Country Club for The Genesis Invitational. Tournament host Tiger Woods will be in attendance but won’t play as he is still recovering from a back procedure last month. World No. 1 Dustin Johnson and defending champion Adam Scott are among the headliners. Notables in the invitation-only field include major champions Brooks Koepka, Bryson DeChambeau, Collin Morikawa, Jordan Spieth, and Francesco Molinari, plus world No. 2 Jon Rahm. Two-time FedExCup winner Rory McIlroy looks to finally lift the trophy at Riviera after holding a piece of the lead Sunday a year ago only to fall to T5. In addition to reigning champ Johnson, FedExCup winners in the field include Justin Thomas, Brandt Snedeker, and Jim Furyk. Here you can find everything you need to stay up to date with the world’s foremost golf tour. Check in for highlights from every tournament plus player profiles, swing analysis and all the greatest shots and amazing moments. Teryn Gregson presents the craziest moments from around the world of golf in ‘Good, Bad & Unusual'.