All the stars are coming out tonight, they’re lighting up the sky tonight… And so they did for Kris Jenner on her 70th birthday this weekend.
Yes, those are lyrics from a Take That song released in 2007 – a time when Hollywood parties were free-spirited, glittering affairs with the batting eyelashes of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie as they twirled around the dance floor like the ironic and iconic butterflies they are.
There were no camera phones, and purse-lipped posing wasn’t invented: just a leather-clad Posh and Becks, Sarah Jessica Parker smoking a ciggie while in animated conversation over a dimly lit table, Kate Moss climbing over said tables, and even Gwyneth Paltrow sitting on the floor.
Back then, Hollywood was a much freer place, it seems, and a fun bit of escapism for us normal folk to stick our noses into when everything seems a bit much.
Maybe beyond the limits of the outside world’s stare, 2025’s Hollywood is alive as ever with big, wine-chugging bashes and stories made in the early hours. Maybe everyone isn’t scared of camera phones and making a tit out of themselves.
It seemed unlikely, until… Kris Jenner’s 70th party.
The whole of Hollywood seemed to come out in force like the good old days of LA bashes for the TV star’s big day, and while there weren’t a huge number of messy glimpses into the shindig itself – as phones were left firmly at the door – it’s got that old familiar tingling of a Hollywood party for the history books.
Police were even called due to noise reportedly reaching higher decibels after Bruno Mars performed at the event, and partygoers ‘went absolutely nuts’, according to a source. Rock-‘n’-Hollywood-roll, baby.
Of course, the Kardashians and Jenners all partied the night away in their gladrags. Other attendees included some of Hollywood’s biggest names like Meghan Markle and Prince Harry, Justin Bieber, Beyonce and her mother Tina Knowles, Mariah Carey, Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, Snoop Dogg, Adele, and Naomi Watts – and breathe – all clad in their finest for the James Bond-themed blow out.
That is quite the Hollywood knees up guestlist: one we haven’t seen in quite some time. It’s twisted but enjoyable escapism to see these alien A-listers interact and let loose wearing outfits worth more than the average UK salary.
It’s also inspirational, almost, to see a 70-year-old woman celebrate – and be celebrated – in such a glitzy, unabashed, fabulous way. Anyone who thinks a 70-year-old grandma must spend their big birthday crumpled in a springless armchair with a blanket tucked around their lap can officially go back to the 19th century.
Kris is showing us a different way. As Justin Bieber bowed to her on the dance floor, Kris demonstrated that there is infinite social power in being an older woman, where they are usually sidelined.
But of course, you know the saying: every silver lining has a cloud…
Thanks to some seriously persuasive cosmetic surgery, Kris appears to be ageing backwards, and is resembling her daughter Kim Kardashian more and more every day.
Wrinkleless, glamorous Kris is a living a dream that’s unfortunately been forced on women since the dawn of time: as her face tightens and years melt away, her huge platform sets an impossible beauty standard for women across the world.
Let’s face it, this whole shiny Hollywood bash facade doesn’t conjure the spirit of pure, unfiltered fun like they used to. Nor the image of great people sharing big philosophies and grand Oscar-winning ideas from their great minds over an Old Fashioned. It’s not, at its most audaciously inspirational, about being culturally iconic, like Paris and Nicole.
It’s got an overriding obsession: money.
There’s only so far you can poke your nose into Kris’ 70th bash before sniffing the superficial, as the ornamental soiree was held at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s $165million Beverly Hills estate, which gives the whole evening a sinister edge.
Also in attendance were billionaires Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates, meaning the three of the richest individuals in the world with hundreds of billions between them sipped on champagne while one in 10 people are battling poverty.
Kris’s birthday was a dose of old school showbiz escapism. But whether it’s a healthy one is up for debate.
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