Alec Baldwin says he had ‘deepest pain’ for his family after fatally shooting Halyna Hutchins

Alec Baldwin has reflected on his Rust case, the stress of which he believes took ’10 years off’ his life.

The 30 Rock actor went on trial for involuntary manslaughter in July 2024 over the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins.

Ukrainian cinematographer Hutchins, aged 42, was fatally shot on the New Mexico set of the movie Rust in October 2021 when Baldwin’s prop weapon accidentally fired, leaving behind her husband, Matthew, and their son, Andros.

The criminal case against Baldwin was dismissed three days into trial when the judge ruled that the prosecution had improperly withheld evidence from the defence.

During a recent appearance on the Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction podcast, Baldwin described how he experienced symptoms of depression and other health problems after prosecutors filed involuntary manslaughter charges against him for the second time in January last year.

‘The people I was most concerned about, the people I had the deepest pain for, were my wife and my kids,’ he told host Dave Manheim.

Baldwin and his wife Alec Baldwin and his wife of 13 years, Hilaria, share seven children together, the youngest of whom, Ilaria, is two. He also has 2. Alec Baldwin shares oldest daughter Ireland, 30, with ex-wife Kim Basinger.

‘My kids would see me sitting in a corner,’ added Baldwin. ‘I couldn’t even move.

‘There was a point in time where I took a nap every day for a year, right after they announced they were going to raise the charges again.’

The producer went on to note that he tries not to ‘dwell’ on the case now in interviews.

‘I just want to say that this was very painful for my wife and my family, my sisters and brothers, and so forth, my colleagues,’ the 67-year-old continued.

‘And I can tell you, it broke every nerve in my body, spiritually, financially, work-wise, my career, my wife, my kids, my friends, my health.

‘I mean, what it’s done to my health. I mean, if I told you what my health conditions have been since October 21st of 2021, it’s taken 10 years off my life. It’s taken at least 10 years off my life.’

Elsewhere in the conversation, Baldwin revealed that he struggled with suicidal thoughts amid the tragedy.

‘It’s really kind of unappealing to me because to talk about killing yourself and to actually kill yourself are two so profoundly distinctive things.’

He added that he thinks ‘countless people think about killing themselves and ending their lives, and then very few do’.

‘And for me, I remember, I used to lie there in bed and go, “Oh God, I can’t wake up another day and have it be the same. It’s the same every day. And I can’t do it.”

‘But somehow, I found the faith in God to, you know, not kill myself tomorrow. Let’s wait one more day.’

Baldwin has always denied pulling the trigger on the prop gun that wounded and ultimately killed Hutchins.

Several civil cases remain pending, including lawsuits against the actor and other Rust producers filed by Hutchins’s widower and her parents.

The film’s armourer, Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in March 2024 and sentenced to 18 months in prison. She was released on parole last May.

As for Hutchins’s family, whose lives changed forever that day in October, her husband has since become an advocate for increased safety practices within the film industry, particularly concerning firearms used by cast and crew members.

‘In the end, justice won’t bring Halyna back,’ he previously told Today. ‘But maybe the memory of her can help keep people safe and prevent something like this from ever happening again.’

The Hutchins family has pursued various negligence lawsuits regarding the Rust set, also.

In May 2022, Matt filed a wrongful death suit. He was consequently made an executive producer of the film, and the lawsuit was settled after seven months.

A year later, a suit was filed against Baldwin, the Rust producers, and other crew members, which was put on hold amid Baldwin’s manslaughter trial.

After production resumed, Rust was released into theatres in the US in May 2025. It received mixed reviews and grossed just $26,831 (£19,898) against its $8million (£5.9m) budget.

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