The World Cup’s biggest scandal was wasting Madonna

For the first time, the World Cup staged a half-time show for its final, an attempt to replicate the spectacle of the Super Bowl that absolutely no one asked for. 

From the first announcement, there was almost universal scepticism from people who saw it as another cynical cash grab, an affront to the sanctity of football that would see the half-time interval nearly double in length. 

But for me, there was one potential silver lining – one promise of joy.

The eternal Queen of Pop, Madonna, who opened the show while enjoying the most exciting era of her career.

This icon of icons is currently enjoying a comeback of comebacks, single-handedly reviving club pop at a time when everyone else seems more interested in making music for TikTok than the dancefloor, and reminding the world why she’s one of the most important artists alive.

Her Confessions II era has been one of the greatest musical triumphs in recent memory, and something of a surprise. 

Even a staunch fan like me was beginning to doubt whether she’d ever make another truly great, career-defining album after almost two decades of forgettable EDM impersonating whichever artists happened to be topping the charts instead of leading the way herself.

Everything about this album has been for, and about, as she calls us, ‘the gays’. 

From chaotic appearances at gay bars on both sides of the Atlantic to shouting ‘C’mon, gays!’ during a surprise performance at Madison Square Garden while New Yorkers walked past carrying on with their day, Madonna is back at her camp best. 

So I was one of the gays who couldn’t have been more excited to see her turn this festival of football from heteronormative humdrum into the VMAs at their noughties peak.

But those hopes soon came crashing down.

I can’t begin to imagine how much money was thrown at one of the most agonising 11 minutes of my life, but it was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, as though it had been cobbled together at the last minute by an overzealous drama teacher. 

That drama teacher, unfortunately, was Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who not only demonstrated why the World Cup, even when in America, should avoid trying to be the Super Bowl, but also disgraced Madge, her fans, and what should have been one of the most electric moments in music this year.

Reducing Madonna to miming in a car park for a pre-recorded performance, driven into the stadium by deeply uncomfortable-looking Brazilian football legends Ronaldo and Ronaldinho, whose talents shone on the pitch and should never again be seen on a dancefloor, was criminal.

The greatest pop star ever, doing a Miss Daisy tribute. It was shocking. 

Yet it was strangely fitting for a World Cup that ultimately became a parody of itself.

The entire thing was too flashy for its own good. Joining Madonna were the biggest band in the world, BTS; a weirdly downbeat appearance from Justin Bieber; the first live performance of the official World Cup song by Shakira and Burna Boy; all wrapped up by Coldplay performing alongside children from around the world beneath a banner promoting LOVE. 

With Donald Trump, a man who very much stands for the opposite of that message, in the audience, it all felt painfully inauthentic and classically Chris Martin.

Wayne Rooney, commentating for the BBC, summed it up perfectly in three words: ‘It was crap.’

But it could so easily have been a triumph with Madonna centre stage. 

She has apparently spent more than a year chasing a long-held dream of performing at the World Cup, a remarkable admission from a woman who appears to have conquered everything else.

‘I’ve been bugging and harassing my manager for over a year about it,’ she said, insisting it was a moment that had long been on her bucket list.

‘I’m just a really big football fan… and it’s always been my dream.’

The answer to a World Cup half-time show was staring Martin in the face for over a year: if Madonna is literally begging to perform, give her everything she wants. 

Give her the entire slot and watch her blow every Super Bowl half-time show – including her own – out of the water, establishing this as a stage worthy of the world’s greatest artists for tournaments to come.

Instead, the dreary Coldplay frontman has ensured there should never be another World Cup half-time show; that football and pop music simply don’t mix unless it’s a Spice Girl marrying a Man Utd star and conquering the world through vulgar matching outfits and terribly named children.

Jennifer Hudson opened proceedings by singing the national anthem, and it was the only celebrity performance that felt remotely appropriate. 

She was followed by Tom Cruise, who inexplicably strode onto the pitch to deliver a rousing speech while holding his sunglasses like a try-hard tech CEO announcing record profits and laying off the accounts team. 

At one point, commentator Guy Mowbray called Pharrell ‘AKA Rocky’, mistaking him for A$AP Rocky, neatly summing up just how out of depth this unnecessary collision of sport and entertainment had become.

All of this could have been forgiven had Madonna been given the entire 11-minute show.

Because no one delivers quite like Her Madgesty.

As a Madonna fan and lifelong homosexual, I’ve never felt more robbed. 

We could have had celebrity cameos throughout a full rendition of Danceteria, a duet with Sabrina Carpenter, or Madonna breaking every rule imaginable by pointing a finger at Donald Trump, sitting metres away in the crowd, to tell him exactly what she thinks of him. That would have been peak Madonna. Peak camp. Peak entertainment. 

Madonna fans, football fans – the world – deserve an apology. 

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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