If you’re a habitual driving test failer, wondering where on earth you keep going wrong, then fret not, you’re in good company.
In the 21st century, getting your hands on that pink piece of plastic is no mean feat. There’s the two-part theory test, the dog-eat-dog test booking system, and, the cherry on top, the tense 45-minute test that will inevitably involve the world’s most complicated nine-lane roundabout.
All this to say that, even Top Gear and Grand Tour host James May, whose entire professional career has centred around… driving, failed a modern-day driving test.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The veteran driver, who, happily for him, already secured his driving licence in the considerably more relaxed 80s, decided to give the current version a go for the sake of it, and didn’t quite make the cut.
In a new video on his YouTube channel, James May’s Planet Gin, he was let loose on the roads in Salisbury and Wilton.
As the 63-year-old explained to viewers: ‘Now, I do of course already have a licence. It was 1980 when I last took a test, and things have moved on a lot since then; the test is apparently very different.
‘I haven’t revised for it. I haven’t learnt anything about it. I’m just going to do it and see if I can pass.’
A rookie error.
In the end, his downfall was speeding twice, once at 46mph in a 40mph zone and again
at 33mph in a 30mph zone.
Although he was quick to acknowledge his error as he sped up, declaring: ‘Sorry, but that was my eagerness to join the flow of traffic and not be a hazard.’
Aside from the speeding errors, James easily coasted along, but it wasn’t enough to clinch him the driving licence in the end.
The examiner said: ‘I’d love to say well done, but you did have a couple of driving faults, but serious faults.That is a fail astonishingly.’
To give James the benefit of the doubt, his TV driving, which is often filled with daring stunts and wince-inducing manoeuvres, is hardly the practice needed to pass a sensible, safe-as-can-be driving test.
Although fans were quick to point out the irony that the affectionately dubbed ‘Captain Slow’ (for his slow driving compared to former co-stars Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond) was called out for speeding.
Still, James took the fail in stride, telling viewers: ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’
James isn’t the first Top Gear alum to retake his driving test as a bit of fun. Last year, Richard stepped up to the task and was even pitted against his daughter Izzy.
And, they met a similar fate with both of them failing, although the examiner did declare that ‘Richard is the better driver’ in the dad-daughter duo.
Richard’s undoing was not checking his blind spots during his parallel park manoeuvre – a classic fail, one might say.
Although Jeremy hasn’t taken a driving test of late, after first passing his in 1977, he did retake one for the Oxford Mail in 1999 and followed his co-stars to a fail (his over minor observation skills).