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Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott separated in June 2023.
Though that was an overall very difficult year for Tori and the family, that was clearly for the best — for both of them.
And, it turns out, the divorce was also better for their children.
One of those children, Tori has now revealed, was instrumental in helping her realize that something had to change.
After years of fights and unhappiness, Tori Spelling needed a wakeup call
Many children baselessly blame themselves for “causing” their parents to divorce. But Hattie McDermott is getting credit from her mom for spurring hers. Sort of.
During the most recent episode of her misSPELLING podcast, Tori Spelling described how a conversation with her daughter had spurred her to stop accepting things the way that they were.
“It got to the point where it was worse for the kids to see us together,” she described, referring to the months ahead of their 2023 separation.
Tori Spelling shares how her daughter, Hattie, asked her an important question that encouraged her to breakup with Dean McDermott. pic.twitter.com/B0fxUlOYE2
— E! News (@enews) April 12, 2025
“We could no longer hide what was happening, the fights,” Tori spelled out.
“He was an addict going through a lot,” she acknowledged of Dean. “And a lot of it was taken out on me.”
Dean has been open about his alcoholism and the terrible toll that it took on his marriage and his family.
A talk with Hattie McDermott proved eye-opening
According to Tori, Hattie — who will turn 14 in about 6 months — saw what was going on. She saw more than Tori (or Dean) had hoped.
“I didn’t like the person I was,” she reflected, “trying to raise strong humans and just taking it and taking it.”
Tori then admitted:
“The want of kids, just always wanting their parents together, I think kept me from making what was outwardly a better decision for them than what they saw between two partners.”
Tori thought back to a conversation in which Hattie apparently asked her:
“Have you ever considered what it would be like to be with someone else and not dad and get treated right?”
That was eye-opening for Tori. And she also emphasized that Hattie wasn’t picking favorites, either.
Tori emphasized that Hattie “loves her dad” and that she’d admitted to her mom that she felt “scared” to even broach the subject.
The divorce was for the best for everyone involved
Ultimately, it ended up that Dean announced their separation — unilaterally — following a fight in June of 2023. That was a particularly rough year for the family.
On the positive side, things have clearly improved since then.
Last summer, Dean celebrated one year of sobriety.
And Tori is no longer in a toxic marriage — having realized, as so many parents eventually do, that it’s not better to stay together for her children.
Tori Spelling: Our Daughter Encouraged Me to Divorce Dean McDermott! was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.