You know how Prince William is a jinx for England’s football team? Well, Donald Trump has the same powerful jinxing abilities. Whenever he throws his support behind a particular athlete or team, they lose or get crushed or get into a drugged-out car accident. In the past week, Trump apparently worked overtime (lol) to get FIFA to remove Folarin Balogun’s suspension from the USMNT’s round-of-16 match against Belgium. There was chaos for about 48 hours but Balogun’s suspension was lifted. The USMNT still got their asses handed to them by Belgium. It’s crazy that all three host countries (Canada, USA and Mexico) went out in the round of 16.
The United States was eliminated from its own World Cup after falling to a timid 4-1 defeat by Belgium in Seattle.
Mauricio Pochettino’s side lit up the early stages of this tournament with its freewheeling attacking style, but it fell apart against a vastly improved Belgium.
Charles De Ketelaere scored two first-half goals either side of Malik Tillman’s deflected free kick, before U.S. goalkeeper Matt Freese made a terrible error when he was caught dawdling in possession, allowing Hans Vanaken to fire into an empty net.
Romelu Lukaku added insult to injury with Belgium’s fourth goal in stoppage time.
The USMNT’s exit means all three host nations fell at the round-of-16 stage, with Belgium advancing to face Spain in Los Angeles for a place in the final four.
So what are the takeaways from all of this? One of my takeaways was that I was correct to not get too invested in the USMNT because American men will always disappoint me (and everyone else). Another big takeaway? If you’re an American athlete or a team, pray that Donald Trump doesn’t come to your sporting event or praise you in any way or do crimes on your behalf. Trump’s jinxing properties are insane – I guess the Wiccan community was telling the truth about the dark and powerful malevolence around Trump. PS… I guess I’m supporting Norway now? I’ve become obsessed with Erling Haaland.
Getting dogwalked by a washed Belgium after getting the president to rig the game, maybe the most embarrassing performance of this tournament
— Slazac
(@TrueSlazac) July 7, 2026
Belgium does Donald Trump dance goal celebration during embarrassing USA World Cup rout https://t.co/7nq6Ltfpek pic.twitter.com/AuWfVsKIiu
— New York Post (@nypost) July 7, 2026
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.
