Virgin Island’s heartwarming finale shows it was always about more than sex

‘Isn’t this just prostitution?’

‘Have they not heard of Amsterdam?’

‘Why not just pay a hooker?’

‘This show is disgusting’

During the debut of Channel 4 reality show Virgin Island last year, I saw a flurry of comments like these made about the sex surrogates that help multiple virgin contestants navigate complicated issues of desire, arousal, and shame.

The show itself may seem strange to many: virgins go to a resort, where they are matched with a ‘therapist’ or ‘sex surrogate’ to learn about the process of having intercourse for the first time, exploring bodies.

For many viewers, it’s also free sex education since most of us haven’t been exposed to such transparent conversations in our lives.

And maybe because of this, the show – and sex therapists themselves – have received regular criticism. They have been accused of exploitation, of not really providing therapy but instead simply readily available sex workers to corral virgins into doing the deed without any strings. 

One user on X claimed he felt ‘the whole things extremely noncey’ – conflating the sex surrogates with a sex offender. He continued to say that the ‘virgins are being groomed by the old women calling themselves experts’.

But I wonder if he’d feel the same watching last night when, in the finale, three contestants lost their virginity.

And, in a twist that has silenced so many of the show’s most vocal critics, two of the participants actually had sex with each other – not with the sex surrogates and therapists. 

Katie, a 22 year old nanny from Peterborough and Callum, a 21 year old from Preston, both felt some sparks fly early in the series. 

With their individual surrogates, they have shown the attention needed to learn more, and then they took that knowledge back to each other.

It shows the surrogates are far more than just sex workers, but they are trying to encourage contestants to have the best experience possible. 

And that’s reflected in the fact many contestants speak highly of their experience after the last season ended – such as when dog groomer Holly revealed in February this year that she is expecting a baby.

However, the sex surrogates have experienced a lot of shame and hate online – one user on X called them ‘perverts’, claiming that their job ‘is simply not an occupation’. 

It lends to a larger conversation around sex work and how misunderstood it is. Because sex workers don’t just have sex for money – they are working with different bodies, needs and wants, to acknowledge what individuals require to feel good.

Having worked as an online sex worker myself – on OnlyFans and multiple other platforms – I’m not just someone who takes my clothes off. I speak to each person who gives me time to learn their specific needs.

I do it without judgement – whether they wanted to wear a diaper, or wanted to rate their dick pics, I speak to them respectfully.

Most of the time, they wanted to talk. The intimacy they required wasn’t just to get off, it was to feel connected to someone.  

And that was what sex surrogates did on Virgin Island.

Having worked as an online sex worker myself, I’m not just someone who takes my clothes off.

But no matter how hard they try to help people, they will face criticism. And I know this first hand – as a sex worker, the judgement you face can be relentless.

I have received messages online from people who tell me I’m scamming money off men by ‘showing them my tits and taking their money’, with no sense of remorse. 

One person told me I was ‘using men’ for money, much as the Virgin Island experts are accused of exploitation. 

Sex work involves getting to know clients, just as the surrogates do, and because of the environment they fostered, two contestants found a connection they would have otherwise not felt safe to proceed with.

We watched as Katie and Callum walked into the tent and listened to their voices, still mic’d up.

‘Are you ready? Take your top off,’ Katie said.

‘You take it off,’ Callum replied.

We didn’t need to see what happened next in detail, but we can definitely consider this as a success, and watching it, I thought it was cute, and not at all exploitative. 

We must remember that these therapists worked with each contestant over weeks, and not everyone took the plunge. Not everyone had sex in the end.

If, as some of the criticism suggested, this was just about pairing off virgins with sex workers, then everyone would have lost their virginity.

And the show would last about 15 minutes all in.

Let’s not forget that in the first series, one of the virgins tried to rush through a session – straight to sex – and the surrogate stopped him immediately.

They are professionals, after all. This isn’t, despite what naysayers may claim, a sex show, it’s a show about intimacy.

The truth is the surrogates have been spectacularly misunderstood. Sex workers or not, they are there to help people move forward in life.

This was a beautiful journey for the contestants, to grow as people, learn about their bodies, and progress in their adulthood.

And if you take issue with that, then you might be the problem.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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