Vogue Williams has opened up on the highs and lows of her career and life, revealing the two ‘big losses’ she suffered before her marriage to Spencer Matthews.
The Irish DJ and presenter, 39, has released her memoir, Big Mouth, which details her struggles with anxiety, her parents’ divorce, and the death of her beloved dad Freddie, who passed away at the age of 68 after suffering from a stroke following an operation to remove an aneurysm.
Vogue revealed how she embarked on a ‘hasty’ move across the world to Australia in the midst of dealing with the loss of her father, saying she needed to ‘get away from the sadness in Dublin’.
Speaking to the Irish Independent, the My Therapist Ghosted Me presenter said: ‘I’d lost my dad. And I was in a not great relationship that kind of imploded not long after it… And I saw this path where I could just go, and not have people come up to me and say, “I’m really sorry, I’m really sorry.”
‘I know people are trying to be nice, but you just kind of want to hide from it a little bit. I think it took me a long time to actually grieve and deal with it,’ she explained.
In a chapter in her book entitled Big Wedding Small Marriage, Vogue details being in a relationship which ‘felt pointless’, revealing she ultimately called things off in the end.
‘The morning of the wedding I felt very stressed and so anxious because deep down I knew I had made a mistake… After the wedding I tried to make things work,’ she explained.
‘The relationship wasn’t all terrible, we did have some great times too, and for the most part he was good fun to be around. But he was not husband material. It was me who called it in the end. I couldn’t keep trying, it felt pointless… I’m not here to throw anyone under the bus but there are things that went on in our relationship that will never be forgiven.’
Candidly, Vogue opened up on her late father’s relationship with alcohol, being left reluctanct to use the word ‘alcoholic’ to describe him due to now-husband Spencer Matthews’ past problems with drinking.
‘I prefer to say “liked to drink”. I think alcoholic — and maybe this is because of Spenny as well, the way he feels about it — I think it’s a bit of a negative word. I don’t know, it just seems a bit harsh. I think a nicer way of putting it is like “You’re a bit fond of the drink”.
‘And people are fond of the drink in different ways. My dad wasn’t waking up and drinking in the morning, but he was certainly drinking every day, and I don’t think that it’s very good for anyone’s life to be to be drinking that much.’
In March, Vogue was forced to address ‘baseless and cruel’ rumours that she and Spencer, who tied the knot in 2018 and have three children together; Theodore, six, Gigi, four, and Otto, two, had split.
The presenter took to social media to hit back at claims that the pair were splitting up, sharing a montage of photos of herself with her former Made In Chelsea star husband.
She wrote: ‘It’s with great sadness that I have to let you know that Spen and I are NOT breaking up!
‘I usually avoid addressing baseless and cruel rumours but this just keeps coming up. It’s disappointing to see this narrative being pushed almost daily when it’s absolutely not true and much more importantly, I don’t want my children hearing these lies in the playground.
‘We’re not sure what the angle is or where it’s coming from but the whole thing feels very strange and mean.’
Vogue and Spencer met on the fourth and final series of Channel 4 reality TV competition The Jump and after a year of dating, he got down on one knee and popped the question.
The couple tied the knot in June 2018 at Spencer’s 10,000-acre family estate in Scotland before having a second wedding in London the following year.
Before Spencer, Vogue tied the knot with former Westlife star Brian McFadden in 2012 before they eventually decided to call time on their marriage just three years later.
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