Yasmin’s vitiligo representation in Love is Blind could change lives

Watching the first episode of Love is Blind UK, I was so excited knowing that Yasmin Toseafa, a fellow Vitiligo Society spokesperson, was going to appear.

In fact, after five minutes, I couldn’t wait much longer and skipped straight to her part, because of how inspirational it was to see a woman who had vitiligo, taking part in one of the biggest dating shows on television.

And she looked amazing – I was beaming watching her.

This didn’t just mean something to me – an avid watcher of Love Is Blind – but to thousands of women and girls within the vitiligo community. 

This representation really matters.

For those who aren’t aware, vitiligo is a long-term condition where pale white patches develop on the skin – it’s caused by the lack of pigment in skin called melanin. Some high-profile people live with it, such as model Winnie Harlow and actor John Hamm.

Some people have small areas of their body affected, but others get bigger white patches across large areas of their body, and there’s no way of predicting how much skin will be affected.

It’s a relatively common condition that affects about 1 in every 100 people and it comes with a stigma that is not always easy to handle.

So I felt lucky when Yasmin and I connected on social media some time ago since we both have the same condition and work with the Vitiligo Society, where she is an ambassador. 

There is something powerful about meeting others with vitiligo, it’s that instant feeling of ‘I get it’ because I knew we would have experienced similar things growing up. 

I met her for the first time in June this year at The Vitiligo Society’s annual walk in Hyde Park and she was as I expected: bubbly, chatty and a respected advocate in our community. 

She was genuine and I find that so refreshing. 

So watching her share on national TV how she developed vitiligo at just eight became an instantly relatable moment. 

What instantly struck me was how approachable and sincere she was, while also being incredibly open and vulnerable about her experiences in dating, and the impact her vitiligo has had on her.

It was important to see her sharing how she covered it with makeup, only her close friends knew about her condition, and when she said it made her feel unattractive, so many of us within the community felt seen.

I was diagnosed at the age of three – I’ve lived my entire life with the condition and have no idea what life feels like without it.

Then, in my teens, my lens on the world shifted as a young woman, and I became very aware of how different I looked and was constantly questioning how ‘pretty’ I was in a world that glorified a particular type of beauty – smooth flawless looking skin.

I was constantly wondering if I was ‘enough’, and struggled to fit in – not because my family and friends didn’t accept me, but because I allowed my skin to create a barrier between me and the rest of the world. 

I was incredibly self conscious and tried everything I could to keep my skin from being seen. I avoided swimming lessons by forging sick notes. I dreaded summer every year because I couldn’t wear nice clothes like my friends and avoided dating at school because it felt awkward. 

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Even though I excelled at sports and once dreamed of competing at the Olympics, I eventually let go of that dream. The thought of progressing in athletics, where wearing shorts and having my skin on display felt unavoidable, became too much for me.

During my twenties, I applied heavy layers of fake tan and thick layers of camouflage makeup that would often melt in the sun. I wore clothes that kept me completely covered and felt self-conscious during beach holidays with my friends. 

I quickly learned how to anticipate people’s reactions and became very sensitive to the stares – which can feel constant.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s, there was little in terms of support, and no social media to connect with others. I felt incredibly alone.

That’s why watching Yasmin navigate dating on the show hit me so personally. 

As Yasmin got to know one of the men on the show, Jordan, I could see their instant connection form, but there was an emotional moment when she revealed her vitiligo and started crying. 

I felt sad when she hesitated – it took me back to the times when I found dating difficult; the times when I was so conscious about how I looked, that I often avoided it. 

It can feel like an ‘elephant in the room’ but when you have the conversation, everything becomes clearer – both your mind and the other person’s intentions. 

Reassuringly, Jordan responded to Yasmin saying ‘you’ve got such a beautiful aura and beautiful personality’, which was so nice to hear.

Even though things didn’t work out between them out of the pods, it was still heartwarming to see them both being so open and respectful.

My relationship with my skin is very different now, and it still amazes me how I’ve come to accept my skin having spent so many years hiding it. 

But I’ve done it by reframing how I think of myself and now I’m a public advocate for the condition, using my story to inspire and encourage others.

I’m so glad Yasmin is representing our community on a dating show on national TV – this isn’t just about being inspirational, it’s about normalising vitiligo. 

And the more representation there is, the more likely it is that other girls, like a young Natalie or Yasmin, will realise that her skin is not a barrier to finding love. 

We deserve that much.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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