Jim Darby and his husband Patrick Bova have had “too many weddings to remember.”
The first one was 30 years ago, while they were in Washington, D.C., for a protest. They exchanged vows two more times before they finally married at the Museum of Contemporary Art in June 2014, a day after marriage equality was enshrined in state law.
That was more than a year before Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage in June 2015. Ten years later, that ruling holds special meaning for Darby and others who paved the way in Illinois — especially as they worry their rights could once again be in jeopardy.
“All of those arrangements we had made it feel like [history] was going in the right direction,” said Darby, 93, of Hyde Park.
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Brian Jackson/Sun-Times
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Michael Schmidt/Sun-Times
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John H. White/Sun-Times
Illinois banned same-sex marriage in 1996, but eventually allowed civil unions for same-sex couples in 2011. It became the 16th state in the nation to legalize gay marriage in November 2013, paving the way for marriage equality to take effect June 1, 2014 — more than a year before the 5-4 decision that legalized same sex unions nationwide.
Camilla Taylor, the deputy legal director for litigation at Lambda Legal, helped represent Darby in 2012 during the battle to overturn Illinois’ ban on gay marriage. She also worked on the Obergefell case.
She said Illinois was unique in its legislative protections for marriage equality when they passed. Looking back, she remembered couples getting married on the lakefront in the wake of the federal decision, but also those who didn’t make it to the altar.
“Illinois was a bright light, it led many of the states in the nation,” Taylor said. “It’s important to note how many decades of fighting went into that and how many losses we suffered across the way.”
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Charles Rex Arbogast/Sun-Times
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Jessica Koscielniak/Sun-Times
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Jessica Koscielniak/Sun-Times
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Jessica Koscielniak/Sun-Times
Suzie Hutton said she and her wife carried a copy of their wills in their cars “just in case” before they could wed. The couple were part of ACLU of Illinois’ 2012 lawsuit for marriage equality in Illinois that took issue with the differences between civil unions and marriages.
“We had to ensure we weren’t locked out of the hospital, or have the nightmare of not being able to take care of someone we love in an emergency,” said Hutton, 56, who lives in Farmer City, about 80 miles northeast of Springfield. “[Marriage] didn’t change that we were committed to each other, but it meant everything in terms of dignity and equality.”
Republican lawmakers in at least six states have recently called for Obergefell’s repeal. In overturning Roe v. Wade in 2022, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said cases establishing marriage equality or the right to private, consensual sexual acts could also be undone.
If the decision were to be overturned, nearly half the country would cease recognizing same-sex marriages because of bans that existed before the landmark case.
After the 2024 election, lawyers told the Sun-Times they’d seen a rise in calls from clients concerned about their rights — particularly parental rights, wills and some sought marriage licenses ahead of President Donald Trump’s inauguration, an echo of past fears.
Like Hutton, Tim Kee, of Marion, was also part of the ACLU lawsuit. He and his husband joined after starting the process to adopt a child but were forced by a court to return him a month after caring for him because they weren’t legally married.
The possibility of returning to that world feels like a “punch in the gut,” Kee said.
“Learn what it was like to not be able to go out in public so you can be with your partner and keep your job,” said Kee, 60. “Until people understand that, you don’t know what we’re fighting for. … And the scary thing is that’s what we’re going back to.”
While there aren’t any cases that could reach the Supreme Court, Taylor said some groups are seeking to create cases that could. But those who fought the battle once aren’t willing to lose the rights they dedicated decades earning.
“Over my dead body,” Darby said.
He wants to see queer youth protest more to continue the fight.
“I think people should realize that we are seeing all the rights we took for granted slowly being taken away,” said Darby, who is a month away from celebrating 62 years with his husband. “… [But] we are not going back. They are not taking away anything from us.”