Want to be like Jello Biafra?
Well, we can’t teach you to sing or write lyrics like the legendary former leader of the Dead Kennedys (aka, the best band in Bay Area punk-rock history). But we can point you in the right direction to owning his car.
Yeah, that’s right. You can be cruising to your next punk rock show — or even to a Green Day concert — in the same wheels that Jello Biafra drove for decades.
That’s because Biafra — who fronted the Dead Kennedys from 1978 to 1986 before striking out on his own solo career — is auctioning off his old 1989 Toyota Celica GT Convertible.
Biafra has owned this vehicle since 1995 and it boosts “impeccable punk rock credentials,” according to the post about the auction of the car on Hemmings.com.
“As Jello’s daily driver for decades, this T160-generation shows over 212,000 miles on its odometer,” the post reads. “’Displaying its battle scars proudly,’ the sporty convertible ‘runs, rides, starts and stops top notch,’ according to a friend assisting Jello with the auction listing. Additionally, the friend notes that the Celica passes the notorious California smog test with ‘flying colors.’”
The Toyota has reportedly been maintained with “no expenses spared.”
“Aesthetics were ‘left to accumulate a natural punk rock patina that can only be gained on the streets of the San Francisco Bay Area.’ Jello used the Celica’s stereo system to listen to a great many punk band hopefuls from around the world who sent in demo tapes,” the post reads.
That’s all nice and good. But how much will this ride cost you?
Well, the current top bid — as of Wednesday morning — was $13,165. So, if you have $13,166, the Celica could be yours.
Or maybe not. Since the next bidder could just top your offer. The top bidder will claim the car after the auction ends at 2:30 p.m. Dec. 20.
The cash from the sale will go to supporting the punk rock legend’s “long-running but always struggling” record label — Alternative Tentacles.
The car is located in Carmichael — which we sure hope is not where Biafra lives these days. (He should always live in the Bay Area, preferably within singing distance of the Dead Kennedys’ old stamping grounds — Mabuhay Gardens — in San Francisco.)
But that doesn’t mean that the winning bidder would have to venture out to Carmichael to pick up the car — even though it would allow them to pick up some Jimboy’s Tacos (which sadly doesn’t have a Bay Area location).
Instead — and here’s the kicker that might make the Celica price tag (somewhat) worth it — Biafra will meet you with the car right in the Bay Area.
“As a special extra to the auction of this unique droptop, the winning bidder will have the option of taking delivery of their new piece of punk rock history in the San Francisco Bay Area where Jello will take them for a cruise around some of his favorite historic sites,” the post reads.
Here are some more details on the ride — as they are listed on the auction post.
1. Power comes from the original, factory-installed 3S-FE four-cylinder engine.
2. Toyota rated the 2.0-liter, twin-cam, 16-valve inline-four at 115 horsepower when new.
3. The 1,998-cc engine “purrs like a Marshall stack turned up to 11.”
4. A five-speed manual transmission delivers power to the front wheels.
5. The transmission “shifts gears as smooth as sliding in the next power chord.”
6. Both punk anthems and melodious tunes can be played on AM/FM CD and cassette stereo.
7. The folding convertible top features electrical power for operation.
8. This Celica GT is equipped with the optional Power Package.
9. Power Package features power-assisted windows, locks and outside rear mirrors.
10. The front windows “still go up and down like a dedicated pogo dancer.”
11. The heater “will still wrap you in the warmth of a heavily painted leather jacket.”