DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple weeks back, my car broke down on me.
It wouldn’t turn on, so I had to have it towed to my usual mechanic to get his opinion on the repair. After inspecting it, he assured me that he could get the job done if I ordered the necessary part.
He quoted me a steep price, but due to his confidence, I agreed to the service.
A week or so went by, and he let me know that my car was ready. I grabbed a cab and headed his way, and while I was on the way there, he sent another message saying that I’d still need a ride home and a tow truck for my car. I was so confused.
When I got to the mechanic’s, he admitted that he knew from the start that he wouldn’t be able to fix my car, but he really needed the money. I was in shock!
I couldn’t believe that he would admit to blatantly stealing from me. Not only did I waste my time, but I spent money on parts, labor and two tow trucks!
It feels like he did this because he’s not expecting any repercussions. How can I teach this guy a lesson?
— Ripped Off
DEAR RIPPED OFF: Go to the police immediately and file a report. This man committed a crime and admitted it to you.
Tell the police everything. Show your receipts. Be prepared to take him to small-claims court.
Be sure to warn your circle about what happened. You can also leave reviews online.
DEAR HARRIETTE: If I’m being entirely honest, I am extremely jealous of my sister.
She has always been smarter than me and prettier than me, and things just seem to come more easily for her. Growing up, teachers would always compare us, and even now as adults, I feel like people still put her on a pedestal.
She has a great job and a loving boyfriend, and she seems to carry herself with a level of confidence that I’ve never felt.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’m constantly playing catch-up in every area of my life: It took me six years to get my undergraduate degree, I’ve been unemployed for a year now, and I still live with my parents.
I’ve tried really hard not to let my jealousy show, and I’m always polite and supportive when we’re together. Inside, though, I can’t help but feel like I’ll never measure up.
I know it’s not healthy to compare myself to her, but it’s almost impossible not to when we’re related and people constantly make comments about how amazing she is.
How do I stop feeling like I’m always in her shadow? I want to be genuinely happy for her without it making me feel worse about myself.
— Fighting Jealousy
DEAR FIGHTING JEALOUSY: Comparison can kill your spirit and your relationship with your sister. Start seeing her through loving eyes as you do the same for yourself.
Compare yourself only to yourself. What have you done well today, this month, this year? What do you want to work on to improve your life? What makes you happy? Choose to spend time cultivating your life with your friends.
When others comment about your sister, agree with what you think is true, and move on. Don’t take it as a criticism of you, and don’t attempt to stand up for yourself. Let the moment pass.
Love yourself in all your uniqueness. Practice believing that you are enough, because you are.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.