DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m considering adopting a pet, but I’m feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety about the commitment it involves.
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My dear friend recently passed away, and she left behind her beloved cat, Socks. Socks is both elderly and blind, and no one in my friend’s family is able to take care of her.
I’ve always wanted a pet, but Socks’ special needs — she’s slow-moving and requires extra care — make me nervous about how this might impact my daily routine. I’ve never had to care for a pet with such specific needs before, and I want to make sure I’m fully prepared for the responsibilities involved.
How can I make an informed decision about adopting Socks and ensure that I’m ready? I want to help her and provide the care she deserves, but I’m also concerned about how this will fit into my life and daily schedule.
— Pet Adoption
DEAR PET ADOPTION: Caring for a pet is a precious responsibility and should be viewed as such.
As much as you want to protect Socks, unless you feel you have the time and tools to do so, you should not adopt her. Instead, help the family find a proper home for her where she will have whatever special treatment she requires at this time in her life.
When you are ready to adopt, make sure you have the time and focus needed to care for a pet. If the pet has special needs, ask for guidance from an expert at an animal shelter.
Take this seriously. You are talking about another life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 23-year-old brother has asked me for a substantial loan to start a new business. While I want to help, I’m feeling uneasy about lending such a large sum.
At 47, I’m more cautious about my financial decisions, and this request feels quite big.
I’ve seen how starting a new venture can be unpredictable, and I’m worried that a possible financial setback could affect our bond if the money is not paid back. Additionally, I’m mindful of how this loan might impact my own finances and future plans.
I’ve been considering alternative ways to offer support without directly lending the money. Perhaps helping create a solid business plan or connecting him with resources might be options. Any advice on how to address this would be great.
— Financial Family Feud
DEAR FINANCIAL FAMILY FEUD: Perhaps you can do a combination of things.
First, tell your brother that you want to support him, but you are uncomfortable about doing exactly what he has requested. Being direct is important so that you don’t get his hopes up.
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Tell him that you have concerns. Explain what they are and offer your help designing a business plan that may set him on a strong course for his venture. Offer to create that with him. In this way, he can participate in the discussion and be invested in learning how to map out his business.
If you can, give him some seed money. What amount of money can you afford to give away? By offering him a small financial gift, you will be showing him that you support him, even though it is not at the level that he needs.
Assure him that you want to help him in an ongoing manner that will prove more valuable over time.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.