DEAR HARRIETTE: I was out for a walk with my dog when, out of nowhere, my neighbor’s dog came charging toward us.
He had slipped out of his collar and was clearly not under control. He lunged at me and my dog, growling and snapping. I had to shield my dog and myself, and for a moment I genuinely thought we were going to get seriously hurt.
What shocked me almost as much as the attack itself was my neighbor’s reaction. He just stood there, frozen, doing absolutely nothing to intervene. He didn’t call the dog back, didn’t run over, didn’t even speak.
Eventually, the dog calmed down and ran back to him, but I was left angry and confused.
I had a few scratches, but thankfully nothing major, and my dog wasn’t seriously injured either; it could have been much worse.
Since then, I haven’t spoken to my neighbor about the incident because I’m honestly not sure what to say. I don’t want to escalate things, but I also feel like I deserve some kind of acknowledgment or apology.
Should I confront my neighbor?
— Bad Dog
DEAR BAD DOG: You must speak to your neighbor.
State how frightened you were when his dog charged at you and your dog. Tell him you are surprised and disappointed that he didn’t do anything in the moment or reach out to make sure you were OK or to apologize for the incident.
Acknowledge that it seemed the dog had somehow gotten free of his collar, so you know the neighbor wasn’t intentionally negligent, but you still feel unsettled with his lack of closure. Make sure he has a plan for if this happens again.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 4-year-old nephew has experienced a lot of death in his young life.
Recently he lost his paternal grandmother, and his maternal grandmother is near her end. A close neighbor friend, a young woman, lost her battle to breast cancer as well.
My nephew is asking lots of questions, which makes sense, but it’s hard to know what to tell him. His parents are doing a good job when they talk to him, but recently he asked me if I was going to die. My knee-jerk reaction was to say no, but I felt like I was insulting him by saying that.
He is a kid, but he’s genuinely curious. What is the right thing to say in this situation?
— Death Talk
DEAR DEATH TALK: Everyone dies. That’s a fact, so saying otherwise is dishonest and can lead to confusion.
When your nephew brings up this topic again, ask him what he’s thinking about. It is likely that his thoughts have led him to a specific situation, conflict or activity. React to that rather than getting defensive.
Tell him that everybody dies at some point; most people live to be old, but some, like his neighbor, go sooner. Tell him death is nothing to be afraid of — it’s a stage in the life cycle.
A book that can support your nephew is “My Grief Comfort Book: Creative Activities To Help Kids Cope With Loss and Keep Memories Alive” by Brie Overton.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.