Few experiences in Southern California deliver anything approaching the bliss of a Hollywood Bowl night done the right way.
But the amateur approach can leave you stuck in traffic, squeezed in among strangers, flat broke and miserable.
You’ll still hear exquisitely performed music in a picturesque setting under the stars, but why not make the night as enjoyable as possible, especially when so much is within your control?
And why not benefit from someone who made mistakes in early visits to the Bowl, but figured out some things and still wants to learn more?
Here are some key tips gleaned from trial and error over the past 20 years of concert-going:
Choose wisely
The draw of a big-name act might be what gets you to take the Hollywood Bowl plunge for the first time, and that’s understandable. When Joni Mitchell & The Joni Jam was announced, the show was one of the hottest tickets of the year, so much so that a second show was added.
But for those shows and some others, be sure to notice the note on the Hollywood Bowl schedule that says “special house rules apply.”
Part of the Bowl’s appeal for many is the notion of packing a meal and either eating before the show in a picnic area or in your seat. And, for many, that means bringing a bottle of wine or two and some glasses or maybe some beers.
Those, however, aren’t allowed under the “special house rules.” On those nights, be prepared for prices that are more in line with a fine-dining establishment than a casual picnic. At Ann’s Wine Bar, for instance, a glass of cabernet sauvignon goes for $19; a chardonnay for $22.
And a 25-ounce can of Stella Artois? That’ll cost you $17.50 at the concession stands.
For most shows, however, you’re welcome to bring in your own and don’t have to resort to putting your Paso Robles Syrah in a Tupperware container you label as “salad dressing” to smuggle it in the venue … or so I’ve heard some have done.
One seat is not like the other
With a seating capacity of 17,500, the Hollywood Bowl has plenty of options so you can pick your view and your price point. The cost varies wildly with the show, of course. For instance:
The Bowl offers a handful of $1 tickets for classical presentations on Tuesdays and Thursdays and jazz offerings on Wednesdays, but they go fast. Still, some of those have shown availability for as low as $10.
The Ultimate VIP Meet & Greet Package for Ms. Lauryn Hill and the Fugees was listed just shy of $2,000 (face value) per ticket.
As for the seats, you could be on a bench in the upper levels and just soak in the atmosphere and sound, especially since you won’t be able to see much without watching a large video screen. (Nothing wrong with that, by the way.)
You could spend a bit more and lock in a so-called super seat — pretty much in the middle of the venue — to avoid the bench experience (more on that later) and have a little more room.
Or nirvana at the Hollywood Bowl is found with your friends — OK, and your wine — in a box. It requires a bit more of a splurge than most other spots, but it’s worth saving elsewhere to do it right once in a long while. The key is to get the whole box; sharing one with strangers is just plain awkward unless you generally make friends instantly.
Outside of the boxes, though, my favorite spots are in the front row of each section in aisle seats. They tend to have extra legroom, and the configuration of the sections keeps most people from walking by you, bumping into you, knocking over your sandwich, annoying you endlessly, etc.
Don’t drive, be happy
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The biggest amateur mistake most make for a night at the Hollywood Bowl is driving and thinking there’s plentiful parking to be had.
Wrong.
It’s limited and expensive. You’ll almost certainly end up in stacked parking. And it might be the best way to guarantee a disappointing night and set that divorce in motion.
Meanwhile, those of us who catch a park-and-ride bus from one of several L.A. County locations — found at www.hollywoodbowl.com/visit/getting-here — arrive in a good mood because someone else is dealing with the traffic. And we leave quickly because we go straight to our bus and head out.
Sure, you might not have a park-and-ride location around the corner, but it’s still worth driving to the one nearest to you. And be sure to buy your tickets in advance; you don’t want to end up without a ride.
Pro tip: If you indulge in the aforementioned wine, catch an Uber home from the park-and-ride lot and you’ve got nothing to worry about.
Then call your buddy who insisted on parking near the Bowl and see if the three cars around him have moved yet so he can start the journey home.
Do’s and don’ts
A quick speed round of last-second tips:
Do: Go with friends and sit among them. It’s better to be smashed on the benches next to someone you know and can shove over an inch rather than some random guy who apparently saves water by showering infrequently.
Don’t: Let that one friend — the one who didn’t commit when you bought tickets but got a cheap one later — try to squeeze into your row. That friend’s butt is not as small as claimed, and you’ll end up sitting sideways for the entire show.
Do: Bring a fun picnic — allowed under all the house rules — and find a great spot among the 14 in the venue to eat before the show. It beats the $48 charcuterie box you can order in advance.
Don’t: Arrive late and try to spread out your three-course meal in the middle of a bench row.
Do: Pick a show you never thought you’d want to check out — “Peter and the Wolf,” uh, sure! — and realize it doesn’t matter since you’re with people you love or at least like on a pristine Southern California night.
Don’t: Fool yourself into thinking there’s an alternative that provides the same experience with a lot less hassle. No other local venue comes close.