Last month, I was forced to learn how to heal after a friend dies.
I learned that you should surround yourself with support, but also take time to be alone.
When it comes to social media, you may find posts comforting or pain-inducing.
You should also remember that everyone processes loss differently, and not let that impact your journey to healing.
In July, my world was turned upside down when my friend Gerald was killed at the hands of a drunk driver.
At the time of his death, Gerald was only 27 years old. And a healthy 27 years old at that. He wasn’t afflicted with an illness that should have cut his life short. He didn’t dabble with the types of drugs that are known for taking the lives of young people. His death wasn’t inevitable, which is a scary thought.
And an even scarier one — it could have easily happened to me or any of our friends.
I thought about the many times in the weeks following Gerald’s death. It’s so easy for someone to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and to die as a result. When you realize your life can be cut short at any moment, you start to evaluate your life. You analyze every decision you’ve ever made, and everything left on your bucket list.
For some people, that serves as a motivation to change. While I felt that desire, I also felt the need to compare the quality and impact of my life to Gerald’s. And in realize just how short I fell in comparison, I started to wonder why God hadn’t taken me instead — in some cases, begged for it if it meant he could come back.
Because the truth was Gerald was a special person. Everything about him was genuine, from his full-face grin to his endless compliments. And because of that genuine kindness and positivity, he managed to make everyone around him feel special. It didn’t matter if you knew him for years or only spoke 10 words to him — he knew how to make people feel great.
Essentially, he was a bright light.
When you lose a light like that from your life, the darkness consumes you. It turns the songs that once brought you joy in tear-inducing melodies because they remind you of him. It turns even the most comforting food into mush because you wonder “what’s the point of eating.” It makes it impossible to think of the good times because you don’t think things will ever be that good again.
In short, it paralyzes you. But not forever.
This summer, I was forced to take an accelerated course in how to heal after a friend dies. I was by no means a perfect student, and haven’t graduated yet. But I have learned some helpful tools to deal with a friend’s death — or any type of loss for that matter.
Find a support system that can hold you up when you are about to crumble
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Source:: Business Insider