Regardless of the law, I will never use the men’s loos

Today, like every day since I was a teenager, I will use women’s spaces.

As a transgender woman, I’ve been going about my day as usual — using the same bathrooms, facilities, and changing rooms I’ve always used.

But now, doing so has become a dangerous proposition. Since the Supreme Court’s decision on the legal definition of a woman in terms of equalities legislation, many believe I should be using men’s facilities. 

And that isn’t just absurd — it’s dangerous and an invasion of my privacy. This is because I am seen as a woman everywhere I go in my everyday life, and people don’t know I am trans unless I tell them.

If I were to suddenly use the men’s, it would not only potentially out me as a trans person, but it would lead to confusion for everyone, cause distress, and most importantly, put me at risk of harassment or violence.

There have been numerous reports for many years of cisgender women being harassed on grounds of being perceived as trans – including cancer survivors – simply because they don’t meet someone else’s expectations of femininity. This whole framework rests on the flawed belief that you can ‘always tell’ if someone is trans.

But I refuse to be bullied out of public life because I have the same right to access public spaces as anyone else. For me, and for anyone else in a similar boat, that means using the women’s facilities.

This is why the Supreme Court ruling is so outrageous. Since then, the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) issued a non-binding guidance that in workplaces and services that are open to the public, trans women ‘should not be permitted to use the women’s facilities’ and trans men ‘should not be permitted to use the men’s facilities’.

But they also added that ‘trans people should not be put in a position where there are no facilities for them to use’.

I keep hearing politicians welcoming the ‘clarity’ of the Supreme Court ruling but what’s clear about any of the resulting EHRC guidance? How are trans people like me supposed to interpret that, except for us essentially being pushed out of public life?

These are spaces we’ve used quietly, safely, and respectfully for decades. Suddenly, that history is being rewritten — not because of substantial evidence, but because of fear. Fear rooted in prejudice.

Can you imagine if society implemented bathroom segregation along racial lines? Most people would find that morally repugnant. So why is it somehow acceptable when it’s trans people being excluded?

That’s why I believe that this isn’t about safety or protecting anyone. If someone wants to enter a space with the intent to harm others, they will do so regardless of trans inclusion.

The reality is that most men don’t need this extra step in order to abuse women.

But it won’t stop with us. It invites public scrutiny of everyone who doesn’t conform to narrow ideas of what a man or woman should look like.

But the fact that I have never once been stopped or questioned in a female bathroom is proof that doesn’t work.

At the end of the day, banning trans people from bathrooms and changing rooms will make it harder for us to live our lives safely and openly. It will force us to hide who we are at work, in gyms, and in everyday life.

I personally cannot see how it can be legal to force trans people to out themselves. It is clear to me that those wanting to enact this don’t believe trans people deserve the same right to dignity and privacy as other people.

Not feeling ‘comfortable’ sharing space with a trans person isn’t a reflection on trans people — it’s a reflection of bias. And that bias is not our burden to carry.

Because perpetrators of violence are overwhelmingly cisgender men. They do not need to pretend to be anything else. They harm women in homes, in streets, in familiar places — not because of trans rights, but because of misogyny.

Male violence exists in every country, regardless of whether trans people are accepted or not. This proves that we aren’t the problem. We’re less than 1% of the population — trans women just a portion of that.

This isn’t a policy based on risk. It’s a moral panic. An irrational fear dressed up in legal language.

We deserve to live authentically, safely, and with dignity — just like anyone else. This isn’t about special treatment; it’s about equal rights, and the freedom to exist in public spaces without fear.

Courts and commissions may try to erase us, but our lives, our histories, and our humanity will not be legislated away.

We’ve always been here — and we’re not going anywhere.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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