Bill Condon’s entertaining enough melodramatic musical fails to accomplish what it most needs to do: move us in tremendous ways.
That’s a boulder-sized problem given how this oft-told tale of a relationship between a romantic gay man in love with movies and an idealistic political rebel tenderly bond in a dank prison cell has consistently moved generations for decades.
We should be a blubbering mess by its end. Just doesn’t happen here.
As some know, “Kiss” originated as a novel, got made into a 1985 movie with Raul Julia and William Hurt (who won an Oscar for his criticized performance), and eventually underwent the big Broadway treatment, as it so often happens. Condon’s version throws a bit of everything from these various into the sauce and that overpowers the emotional impact.
To the film’s credit, a few energetic old-school musical numbers are visualized in bold Technicolor wowza moments and deftly harken to big movie musicals of yore. But some of the handsomely mounted numbers are the ones responsible for creating that oil and vinegar mix. Yes, they are intended to be a jarring contrast but there are unintended consequences here as the two radically opposed worlds collide: the intimate one that plays out in a grim 1975 Argentine prison and the grandiose cinematic fantasy, an escape hatch to anyone suffering in a real world that doesn’t want you. Rather than complement each other, they are at war with each other, tugging us away just when we start to get the feels.
The result is we want to get back into the prison cell to observe, and yes feel, more about the intimate connection between queer hairdresser Luis Molina (relative newcomer Tonatiuh) and political prisoner Valentin Arregui (Diego Luna, in a heartbreaking turn).
Tonatiuh owns the screen every time he appears he’s on it, and even manages to stay in step with Jennifer Lopez. No small feat. The mercurial diva gives it her all as the screen siren Molina worships and longs to become, but her performance — while terrific — isn’t exactly nuanced. Nor should it be. Tonatiuh’s performance is the one that is complex and rich and sidesteps cliches and overstatement. It’s a beauty. His Molina defies stereotyping but is facing a no-win deal in prison and the spectre of an unkind outside world that wants to confine and bar anyone who is queer or different.
Valentín is defiant and wants to tear down the authoritarian government that is stifling so many. He initially dismisses his new cellmate Molina as inconsequential, even vapid. Over time, the unromantic Valentín relishes the chance to hear Molina recap a silly, big-hearted romantic plot of a musical his idol Ingrid Luna (Lopez) starred in.
While the John Kander and Fred Ebb songs move the plot forward none are exactly memorable. The high notes here come from the cast, notably Tonatiuh who gives “Kiss of the Spider Woman” the emotion and soul it often lacks elsewhere.
Contact Randy Myers at soitsrandy@gmail.com.
‘KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN’
2½ stars out of 4
Adapted by Bill Condon from the stage musical by Terrence McNally, John Kander and Fred Ebb, based on 1976 novel by Manuel Puig
Rating: R (language, sexual content, some violence
Cast: Diego Luna, Tonatiuh, Jennifer Lopez
Director: Bill Condon
Running time: 2 hours, 8 minutes
When & where: Opens Oct. 10 in theaters