Zak Surety says the dream of one day appearing at the Crucible stopped him from quitting snooker, but admits that it comes with its own fears.
The 33-year-old first turned professional in 2014 so it has been a long journey to reach the home of snooker, but he will finally step out there on Monday when he faces Ding Junhui.
After years of battling to be comfortable on the big stage and show his true colours on the table, Surety has unlocked some of his great potential.
He had never been to a quarter-final before he reached the last eight of the World Open in February, but he didn’t stop there, progressing to the semis before narrowly losing to John Higgins in a deciding frame.
The Essex man has not let that heartache slow him down, though, storming through World Championship qualifying with impressive wins over Antoni Kowalski, Jack Lisowski and Ricky Walden.
A Crucible debut is the prize and it will be a very different experience to his normal World Championship plans, which involve sitting on the sofa in his pants.
‘It’s amazing, it’s a dream. It shows, just keep working hard, and who knows what could happen,’ he said after beating Walden in his final qualifier.
‘I will probably sit back and watch YouTube videos, Crucible videos, visualise I am there, pretend I am Steve Davis. Honestly, I’m the biggest snooker nerd when it comes to the Crucible. I like to sit in my pants for 17 days and just watch every session on TV.
‘I love the Crucible. I am a snooker fan. When it comes to the World Championship, I am the biggest nerd ever, I don’t move. 10am to midnight every day, just watching snooker. So to be involved with it, it’s unreal.’
Surety has never been inside the building before, saying that when he went for a run in Sheffield to see it for the first time, just the sight of the venue had an impact.
‘A few years ago, I thought I had never actually seen the place,’ he explained. ‘I typed it into my iPhone maps, running around, “where is it?” I saw the Stage Door and I felt my knees buckle.’
The world number 73 has often had to fight against himself, though, speaking previously about the anxiety he has suffered on tour.
As a Crucible debut loomed large as he opened up a big lead over Walden, Surety explains that some doubts already started creeping in.
‘I was thinking, and it sounds really bad because it is the dream,’ he said. ‘I said to my mum a few years ago, when I was debating stopping. I can’t stop until I play there. And then I am thinking, how am I going to handle it? Do I really want to win this? How am I going to feel the night before it? I have to be excited.’
The run to the World Open semis has changed Surety’s career, while his victory over Lisowski in qualifying has given him a further boost.
Surety found himself 8-5 behind and in trouble, but something clicked and he knocked in breaks of 100, 80, 64 and 103 in the final five frames to surge to a brilliant win.
‘He is my favourite player. Love watching him,’ Surety said of Jackpot. ‘All of a sudden, I am mixing it with him, in the evening, I had never felt that confident around the balls. I was getting in and felt amazing here.
‘I have had a lot of good wins this season but that win over Lisowski was the closest I had ever felt (to my best). Even on occasions when I have played well, I still haven’t felt comfortable. I am winging it. With Lisowski, I knew where the white was going.
‘I was standing over the long ones. I knew they were going in. I could feel the crowd were getting on my side a bit. I felt a buzz I don’t think I had felt before, a belief which I had never really had before.’
Surety will be hoping that buzz returns at the sport’s most famous venue when he takes on Ding over two sessions on Monday and Tuesday afternoons.