Embed from Getty Images
Samantha Bee, 55, has a new one woman show called How to Survive Menopause, available on audible. She describes her experience about eight years ago, when she began having symptoms like hair loss and frozen shoulder and assumed it was stress from her job on television. Bee’s gynecologist told her she was in perimenopause and explained it like she was going through puberty in reverse. I’ve never heard it explained that way and it cleared up a few things for me. I’m also reporting on this because I thought my frozen shoulder was due to something else, I had no idea that it could be a sign of menopause. Bee did a recent podcast interview with CNN Medical Correspondent Meg Tirrell. I’m going to excerpt from CNN’s transcript. You can listen to the episode here.
On her symptoms and her doctor’s advice
You just cannot get a night’s sleep. And then I developed frozen shoulder. And it was so excruciatingly painful that I thought I would not make it through. It was awful. Finally, I went to my gynecologist, [whom] I love and trust. I was like, “I don’t sleep anymore. I’m turning into Lady Macbeth.”“How old are you again? You’re in perimenopause [at 47].”
“What are you talking about? I’m too young for that.”
“We’re gonna work through it and you’re gonna be okay.”
It helped me so much to just take one step on a path of knowledge. And it took probably two years to get to that point.
Her doctor told her it was like ‘de-pubertizing’
“You’re de-pubertizing.” She was like, “remember all the torment you felt? Remember that turmoil when you were 15 and every zit was an operatic tragedy? That’s what that is, but just in the other direction. But the stakes are higher. Now you have a job, you have people who rely on you. There’s 25 problems a day that you have to solve in addition to being bouncy and buoyant and doing the work well. Your life is an opera now. Everything is magnified.”On how menopause made her question her identity
It caused me to feel like… is my sexuality over? Am I the same person? My hair used to be something so on brand for me and now it’s all falling out in chunks. I can’t move my body. I can’t do exercise in the same way. I can’t take my body for granted in the way. Not to get too graphic, but you lose a lot of vaginal moisture and it’s very tricky to figure out how you’re gonna function in the world. I started thinking about my vagina all the time. I could feel it walking down the street. It’s kind of embarrassing… It wasn’t that easy for me in rooms full of young writers and young TV people. When you say it out loud among people who are not experiencing it or have no awareness of it, it makes you sound very old to them. They don’t have a framework for it because no one was ever talking about it because it’s not seen as part of the natural spectrum of someone’s life, which it is. It just is.On menopause advice that comes with product recommendations
I don’t like to take advice from people who are trying to sell me any type of product ever. If their advice comes with a request to try some type of moisturizer for your undercarriage or like a pajama that keeps you cool at night. You should be sleeping naked always. Why are you wearing pajamas at all? If it’s related in some way to buying something, then I generally don’t have any interest in it.On why more people are talking about menopause
It’s these Gen X women, like me, who are like, ‘I’ll take the hit’ I don’t give a sh-t, I don’t care, I will say it…’ Because we’re just used to that. That’s the vibe of our generation like let’s talk about it and push out the contours. Let’s get very uncomfortable. In conversations it is a very uncomfortable one to have for sure.
It’s true that Gen X women do not give a sh-t, in general. This is especially true as we age and are going through it. We also have a skeptical approach to people selling us things, as Bee mentioned. I keep thinking about Tina Fey saying that she doesn’t like it when rich people have a side hustle. I’m wondering if Bee’s remarks are pointed at celebrities like Naomi Watts and Halle Berry, both of whom were open about their menopause symptoms before launching products aimed at menopausal women. (She didn’t name names, but those are the people who immediately come to mind.) I have no problem with celebrity women who market products for things that have personally affected them, especially when they bring awareness. As long as they’re upfront about it, it’s fine with me. I don’t agree with not wearing anything to bed though. It feels weird to me to have sheets against my bare skin.
As for things that have helped me, I’ve been doing gentle yoga on YouTube. I’m also on prescription estradiol patches and they seem to prevent hot flashes. For the vaginal dryness and irritation that Bee mentioned, Replens lubricant works well for intimacy. My ex-gynecologist recommended it, but she wasn’t helpful otherwise and was dismissive and rude. It’s not surprising that it took two years for Bee to understand what was happening.