DEAR MISS MANNERS: I shared a cute photo of my daughter with several other mothers by creating a group text. It was a single picture of my daughter, not a mile-long text exchange.
One of the mothers texted me separately not to include her in a text chain with people she does not know, and then exited the group.
Is it bad text etiquette to do this in general?
GENTLE READER: Group texts without prior consent are a violation and they must be stopped.
They are not only confusing, what with their rampant, nameless phone numbers, but can also easily be abused with product solicitations (Girl Scout cookies, anyone?) or other fundraising schemes.
That mother was wise to get out early.
You will rarely find Miss Manners touting the advantages of social media, but at least its participation is voluntary. Yours is a case when it would have been ideal. If you simply must share that cute picture of your daughter, do so there — where friends, family and strangers alike can comment to their hearts’ desire. Without having to gain 372,486 new anonymous friends.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I like pretty clothes. I like cute shoes and accessories, and I think clothing should be flattering and attractive.
There are a few family members who only wear olive, mustard, khaki, black and other dull colors; clunky, unattractive shoes; and few accessories. I have never commented on their attire. Yet every time they see me, they have something to say.
When I attended a baby shower, I wore a dusty pink jacket with a black top, gray pants, pink shoes and a pale pink necklace. I am out of responses for “Your shoes match your outfit!” (Aren’t they supposed to?) And my necklace was pink, too!
Someone even asked my son if I really liked pink or if I was just trying to match the shower. He looked at her like he had no idea what she was talking about.
I feel like I have to defend my choices, but I really don’t know what to say to stop them from these comments.
Another cousin will stare at me (and others as well) and then say, “You look tired. Do you feel all right?”
All of these personal comments are in poor taste, awkward and rude. Is there any response that will discourage them?
GENTLE READER: “Thank you.” This is regardless of whether or not the comments are complimentary. For the ones that are not, Miss Manners recommends you just stand there in your cute matching outfit, nodding and smiling as they dig themselves in deeper.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please advise me on how to politely deal with heavy condensation dripping from water glasses, wine goblets, cocktail glasses, etc., at outdoor restaurants when coasters are not provided?
Does one hold one’s napkin under the goblet while sipping? Let it drip to the floor before drinking? Drip on one’s attire? Or (shudder) decant the julep into a portable container? Nothing seems correct.
GENTLE READER: Cloth napkins are non-negotiable. Paper will disintegrate. If those are not provided, ask.
Then Miss Manners suggests you hold it discreetly over the bottom of the glass or goblet stem so that the condensation falls on it — and not on your clothing or shoes.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.