DEAR ABBY: I have an amazing fiancee who is smart, beautiful and honest. I couldn’t ask for more. We are getting married next year, and we’re excited about the future we’ll have together.
However, I am struggling with something in regard to my fiancee. She has noticeable facial hair.
I don’t know how to talk to her about it. I know saying something would hurt her feelings, which is something I want to avoid.
What’s the best way to go about saying something without sounding like a jerk?
— TREADING LIGHTLY IN FLORIDA
DEAR TREADING: Many women have facial hair to some degree. By that I mean a mustache, unibrow, sideburns and even chin hair. Many of them don’t realize that people notice because they don’t.
Because you are engaged to be married, raise the subject privately and very gently. (Do not say, “Guess what else we have in common. We both have mustaches!”)
There are solutions for this. Among them are waxing and electrolysis. I hesitate to mention shaving (which, by the way, some gorgeous women do) because once she starts, it must be done every day. However, I was told by a friend who shaves that it helps with exfoliation and makeup application.
DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away last year, and my father is 90. I am trying to get their primary and vacation homes staged for sale. It is a huge job as they were hoarders.
They were popular, and when I go to their cabin, all their neighbors want to come and chat with me and Dad.
Because the property is unique and valuable, several of them want my father to cut a deal with them. He’s open to all of their requests, and while he hasn’t signed anything, he has made verbal promises he cannot keep. I have let them all know I have power of attorney, and nothing will happen without my consent.
Since my time is limited, I just want to go to the cabin on the few days I have available to clean it out. But these folks keep dropping by and consuming precious time. The cabin needs a lot more care than I thought, and I need all the time I can get cleaning and staging it.
These many folks have been my parents’ friends and were helpful during every stage of their lives, so I’m afraid it would be rude to tell them to leave us alone to get the job done.
How can I “inoffensively” get them to back off and let me do what has to be done? Also, how can I politely let them know to stop asking about the sale of the property, as I plan to go with a conventional method of sale and not some underhanded trade?
— OVERWHELMED BY IT ALL
DEAR OVERWHELMED: It may be time to draw the line if you want to get the work done in a timely fashion.
When these friendly neighbors drop by, tell them (with a smile) that because there is so much work to be done to get the property ready for sale, you do not have time to socialize. Then refer those who are interested in buying to the real estate agent or attorney who will be helping you with the sale.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.