This week is a continuation of my annual anniversary column, which marks 24 years of writing Successful Aging. That’s 1,175 columns later. Readers shared their experience and advice covering over 35 topics.
Here are just a few of them.
Relationship with a robot. A 69-year-old widow had a five-day relationship with a robot. She wrote they had so much in common, communicating with texts, lovely emails and telephone conversations. They made plans to meet one another on his return from a business trip. This woman’s brother, through his work, had access to databases. Yes, this man did not exist; she was talking to a robot. “My family saved me just in time,” she wrote.
An efficient husband. Having retired five years before his wife, one husband decided to be helpful by doing the grocery shopping rather than spending all of his time golfing and “goofing off.” He mastered this art by memorizing the location of each item they usually buy. He enters the grocery store at one end and leaves at the other end without backtracking to any aisle.
In care facilities. One woman whose mother was in her last year of life found these actions comforting to her mother. Bring pictures of family and friends and change them frequently. If possible and allowed by nurses, order a Big Mac or something that person loves to eat, which may not be on the nutrition list. And bring familiar clothing.
Overcoming challenges with nursing staff. A reader noted he has faced obstacles when interfacing with staff in a skilled nursing facility. Based on his experience, he offers the following advice. Ask the staff and volunteers to help; they usually do if you ask. Provide a smartphone, a window to the world and don’t forget the charger. Bring some favorite food from home and be patient, things don’t happen on your schedule. Finally, he adds, make sure to thank everyone.
And then there is exercise. A reader who considers herself a non-exerciser suggested we modify our language and use the term “play” rather than exercise. “What is important is to keep moving,” she writes. She notes the play that keeps her moving is chair volleyball and pickleball, square dancing and strength training.
At aged 90, a reader writes that she is tired and told herself the errands and housework count as exercise. She recently changed her mind and added short walks, acknowledging that my column on benefits of walking reinforced its importance and to stick with it. (Thank you.) A retired 71-year-old woman wrote, “pickleball literally saved my life… (and saved) me from sitting home eating bon-bons. She adds, “I’m the oldest female who plays regularly at my court.”
Long marriages. Two teenagers fell in love in junior high school and married at age 16 requiring a judge’s approval. They have been married for 60 years. Another couple shared how they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. With all of their family gathered, they went to mass on a Saturday night, renewed their vows followed by dinner in their home prepared by a personal chef.
Downsizing. One reader shared his secret to downsizing a man’s wardrobe: Keep one dark blue suit for funerals, weddings, baptisms and as attire for cruise ships. Add one black and one brown pair of dress shoes, six neck ties, and a few dress shirts. The rest of his wardrobe went to Goodwill.
Sell-discovery. At age 96, a reader discovered he was a superager, based on characteristics I described in a column on the subject. He finds he has the ability to recall facts and experiences from years ago. He can rattle off names of classmates from elementary, junior and senior high school and college. He remembers names of his military buddies and the “hilarious co-workers in the writing rooms when he was doing TV comedy.” He doesn’t exercise. His diet? “Hamburgers, hot dogs and pizzas still pass my lips often as steak, chops, enchiladas and ribs, he adds. Note: May your good genes continue!
So, what have I learned? I have learned our readers are resourceful, generous, courageous, caring and honest in sharing their experiences and opinions. For that ,I am most appreciative.
As I begin my 25th year of Successful Aging, I continue to commit to listen and provide the latest research, perspectives and practices. And occasionally a bit of opinion and personal experience will be thrown in for good measure.
Thank you to the Southern California News Group for providing this incredible platform to reach so many readers every week.
To each of you – good health, joy and successful aging.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity.