Nikki K. Lopez still remembers one of the first moments that sparked the idea for Caregiver OneCall.
During the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, Lopez flew back to her native Jamaica to take care of her grandmother, Beryl Gordon. Lopez had long referred to her grandmother as her “favorite person in the world,” but caregiving created an entirely new dynamic.
Lopez was tasked with a laundry list of responsibilities for her bed-bound grandmother while juggling her day job. By the end of the first day, Lopez thought to herself that she couldn’t handle everything that caregiving entailed. By the end of the first week, Lopez had gone three days without a shower and was neglecting her own personal needs.
“I remember one night she called out to me, and I was so tired that my first instinct was to ignore her. And I was like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I just thought that.’ I think that’s when it really hit me,” Lopez said.
When Lopez talked to family, they asked about her grandmother — not her. When Lopez talked to friends who hadn’t been caregivers, she realized they couldn’t understand the toll of the work. These experiences provoked a question: Who cares for the caregivers?
It was this question that inspired the creation of Caregiver OneCall, a 24/7 emotional support line based in Antioch that launched in February for caregivers who need someone to listen.
“Clearly, caring for someone is not new. Caregivers have been around forever,” said Lopez, the CEO of Caregiver OneCall. “But outside of that physical care — that emotional care, that mental care, that psychological safety — what does that look like?”
Caregiver OneCall is an extension of Caring Haven Home Care, a senior care agency also founded by Lopez. Caring Haven has provided a variety of services for seniors in need of help, from companionship to personal care to respite for caregivers, but Lopez still felt that something was missing.
When Lopez conducted field visits as part of Caring Haven, it wouldn’t be uncommon to see that her “loved ones,” as she likes to call the seniors, were being neglected in certain areas by their caregivers. After initial frustrations, Lopez stepped back and reflected on her own experiences with her grandmother. She realized the next step was to aid the caregivers themselves.
For Lopez, the importance of Caregiver OneCall comes from facilitating conversations between caregivers. Lopez points out that caregiving is not a universal experience, and those who have not been caregivers may not truly understand the emotional toll of the work.
Sometimes, she says, a caregiver’s friends and family members are simply busy with their own lives. It’s not that they don’t care or lack compassion, but as she likes to say, “life is life-ing.” Caregiver OneCall, then, provides caregivers with an opportunity to talk to people who understand the mental, physical and emotional toll of caregiving — people who can relate.
To that point, every one of Caregiver OneCall’s board members has experience as a caregiver in some capacity. Additionally, Caregiver OneCall’s board members speak a combined 10 languages — English, Spanish, French, Patois, Portuguese, Tamil, Hindu, Mandarin, Arabic and Tagalog — ensuring that their services are available to a wide range of people.
Caregiver OneCall’s services only begin with the emotional support hotline.
Along with virtual training and advocacy, Lopez considers their four-hour respites, which allow caregivers to drop off their loved ones for a couple of hours, as the “biggest tangible benefit” of the organization. These respites are made possible by a grant from the Alzheimer’s Association (to Caring Haven) and provide caregivers with an opportunity to focus on their own mental and physical health. Currently, they take place on Mondays and Saturdays in Antioch, Tuesdays in Concord and Thursdays in Richmond.
One couple that has benefited from Lopez’s work is Vicki and Carl Doolittle, high school sweethearts who have been married for 59 years.
Carl, as Vicki describes, used to be incredibly active with interests including distance running, beekeeping and gold mining. Carl, 78, was diagnosed with dementia six years ago, and Vicki has assumed the role of his primary caregiver.
Vicki, 77, took Carl to various senior-care organizations over the last two years, but Carl often provided negative feedback and wouldn’t want to return. She described feeling anxious the first time she used Caregiver OneCall’s respite services, but that anxiety gave way to joy when she returned later in the day.
“When I picked him up, he had a smile on his face,” Vicki said. “He was working on a puzzle — he’s always loved puzzles. It was just such a heartwarming feeling. … I felt like I was at a place where they were truly going to care for him.”
While Carl spends time with Lopez and her group, Vicki takes the time to refresh. She’ll often return home and bask in the tranquility for a couple of hours, enjoying invaluable time to mentally recharge.
“I didn’t think I needed it,” Vicki said. “I used to tell my kids (I didn’t), but I do need it. Now that I’ve had it, I realize it’s needed for my mental and emotional health.”
As the first anniversary of Caregiver OneCall approaches in February, Lopez is proud of the work that she and her board have done. Still, she acknowledges that she has a ways to go. With hundreds upon thousands of caregivers in the Bay Area and beyond, Lopez knows her work is only getting started.
ABOUT SHARE THE SPIRITShare the Spirit is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization operated by the East Bay Times/Bay Area News Group. Since 1989, Share the Spirit has been producing series of stories during the holiday season that highlight the wishes of those in need and invite readers to help fulfill them.
HOW TO HELPDonations will help Caregiver OneCall serve about 125 caregiver families in Alameda and Contra Costa counties with 24/7 support calls, caregiver wellness kits, respite-focused activities and resource navigation support. Goal: $20,000
HOW TO GIVEDonate at sharethespiriteastbay.org/donate or by mail using this form. Donations are tax deductible.
ONLINE EXTRARead other Share the Spirit stories, view photos and video at sharethespiriteastbay.org.