Robyn Gigl, author of books that include “Survivor’s Guilt” and “Nothing but the Truth,” returns with a new crime novel, “All We Hide.” Gigl, an attorney as well as a writer, takes the Q&A this week to discuss the book and writing about trans life.
Q. Please tell readers about your new novel, “All We Hide.”
“All We Hide” follows Lauren Kelly, a recently promoted lieutenant in a DA’s office, who’s been exiled by the brass to the newly created Homicide Cold Case Unit. Lauren knows they’re sticking her there as punishment, hoping she’ll quietly hide until she hits 25 years on the force and retires. That way, no one can claim the DA’s Office discriminated against the only transgender detective in Donn County.
With her teenage daughter struggling with Lauren’s recent transition, an ex-wife Lauren is still in love with, and a former detective father with Alzheimer’s, she decides to investigate a case that no one in her office wants investigated—the murder of Sherry Darling, a trans sex worker and Lauren’s former high school classmate.
As Lauren investigates the events surrounding Sherry’s murder, she uncovers evidence of a cover-up both far-reaching and dangerous. Even more troubling is that the more she discovers, the more convinced she becomes that there is a connection between what happened to Sherry and the disappearance of her own mother, who left when Lauren was five years old—an event that has haunted Lauren ever since.
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Q. You wrote an author’s note for “All We Hide” about the challenges facing trans and nonbinary people, and I wonder if you might share your thoughts with readers here.
I think it’s hard for someone who isn’t transgender or nonbinary to understand what the last ten years of attacks on the transgender community have been like. Nontrans people (cisgender) have been told that trans people are sexual predators, pedophiles, and perverts. One commentator said, “transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entirely.”
I’m not exactly sure what “transgenderism” is, but how do you eliminate it without eliminating transgender people? So, with my books, I’m trying to get people to understand that trans and nonbinary people are just as normal as anyone else, and all we’re trying to do is live our best lives possible, without hurting anyone else. In my case, I’m a parent, a grandparent, a sister, an aunt, an attorney for almost 49 years, an author of five books, one of which was selected by Time Magazine as one of the 100 best mystery/thrillers books of all time, and I am a transgender woman. Of all those things, being transgender is the least important—it’s just one small part of who I am.
The trans community is a tiny fraction of the total population, so we need allies. By humanizing trans people through my characters, I’m trying to convince my nontrans readers to become allies of the trans community. What I mean by that is, people don’t need to understand us; we just need people to be understanding of us. If you can be understanding, even if you don’t understand, then you’re an ally. Unfortunately, right now in this country, compassion and empathy for other people are seen as signs of weakness.
With my note, and with the book, I hope that, in my own small way, I can encourage people to reclaim the virtues of understanding, kindness, and empathy toward their fellow humans and embrace those virtues as strengths, not weaknesses.
Q. Your novel offers insights into the life of a trans person. How much of your own experiences do you include in your work?
I’d be lying if I said there weren’t pieces of me in both my protagonists: in this book, Lauren Kelly, and in my previous series, Erin McCabe. That said, I always add that neither of them is me. Of the two, I’d say Lauren probably aligns a little closer to my life than Erin does.
Like me, even though Lauren knew she was trans from a very early age, she transitioned later in life, after she has a family. She struggles with feeling guilty over the impact her transition had on the people she loves, while at the same time knowing that transitioning was the right decision. Also, similar to my experiences as a lawyer, because Lauren has an established career in law enforcement, it’s impossible for her to avoid being out as a trans person.
One of the other things I try to do in my novels is bring different trans narratives into the story. I do that because my personal experiences as a trans woman can be very different from other people’s. In “All We Hide” there are two other trans characters—Sherry Darling, who transitioned at a very young age, and Billie Dash, a trans woman of color. Each of these characters represents a trans experience that is very different from mine.
Q. What are some of the ways that being a lawyer helps you write your books?
For a significant part of my legal career, my practice included being a criminal defense attorney—representing people accused of crimes—which gave me firsthand experience, not only in knowing the law, but in how the criminal justice system works, both the public-facing and the behind-the-scenes aspects.
More recently, over the last ten years or so, I’ve represented several law enforcement agencies and various law enforcement officers in civil cases. As a result, I’ve gotten to see a little bit of their perspective on law enforcement. Since “All We Hide” is a police procedural, and my earlier books were legal thrillers, I’m able to use my understanding of both sides—the accused and the accuser—to present an accurate picture of how the system works, warts and all.
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Q. What’s a question you wish someone would ask you about this book?
What inspired you to write this story?
Now that I’ve asked the question, I’m guessing you’d also like me to answer it.
In late 2020, I received a call from a friend, who asked for my help with a project he was working on involving Venus Xtravaganza.
For those unfamiliar with Venus, she was a transgender woman from New Jersey and one of the people featured in the 1990 documentary about the New York City ballroom scene, “Paris Is Burning.” In December 1988, Venus’s body was found in a seedy hotel in Manhattan—she was strangled to death. To this day, her death remains an unsolved cold case.
My role in the project was to represent her three surviving brothers in their efforts to obtain a Judgment of Name Change, posthumously changing her name. Even though I didn’t know Venus, through my involvement in the project, I found a deep connection to her—a connection that helped inspire the character of Sherry Darling, whose murder is the cold case at the center of the novel.
Q. Is there a book or books you always recommend to other readers?
The answer to this question always gets me in trouble because there are so many authors I love, and I wind up leaving out authors and books I’ve really enjoyed, but here are a few recommendations: “Faithful Place” by Tana French (love her entire Dublin Murder Squad Series); “Divine Ruin” by Margot Douaihy; “Razorblade Tears” by S.A. Cosby; “The Neighbor” by Lisa Gardner; “The Women” by Kristin Hannah; “Lessons in Chemistry” by Bonnie Garmus; “The House in the Cerulean Sea”by T.J. Klune, “The Ferryman Institute” by Colin Gigl; and “Hell of a Book”by Jason Mott.
Q. What are you reading now?
“The Keeper” by Tana French.
Q. Do you remember the first book that made an impact on you?
“Catch-22” by Joseph Heller. I was about 14 or 15 and I found it in a bookcase in a vacation house my parents had rented for a week one summer. At that point, most of what I had read were the classics for high school, plus a lot of non-fiction books. Then I picked “Catch-22” off the shelf. I had never read anything like it. I didn’t know that a book could be so many things at the same time—funny, heartbreaking, satirical, tragic, absurd, and dark. I was mesmerized by the book. I finished it in the week we were on vacation. It made me want to write a book someday.
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Q. What’s something about your book that no one knows?
“All We Hide” was created as I wrote it. In author lingo, I am a pantser, which means, I wrote it by the seat of my pants. I didn’t plot it out ahead of time. I didn’t have an outline. I didn’t have a whiteboard with sticky notes. When I wrote it, I had a general idea of what the story was about and a few characters in my mind and then I started writing and let the characters tell me where the story was going. Of course, it’s not as simple as that. There was a lot of rewriting and revisions, but this book came together as I was writing it.
Q. Which books are you planning to read next?
“The Cool Machine” by Colson Whitehead. I really enjoyed the first two books in the trilogy, so I’m looking forward to this one. I also just downloaded the audiobook of “The Rachel Incident” by Caroline O’Donoghue.
I will confess to enjoying audiobooks. They’ll never replace the joy of reading a physical book, but between practicing law and writing novels, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to just read. So, when I go for a jog, drive somewhere, or while I’m cooking, I listen to audiobooks. This one’s next in the queue.