I don’t believe in ghosts, ghouls, goblins or other grotesque things beginning with ‘G’.
To me, the world is a rational place for rational people; there are no monsters here.
Yet despite that, seven years ago today, one TV show pulled off a hoax so convincing that for the briefest moment I reconsidered my lifelong scepticism.
The show in question? Well, it’s none other than the devilishly delightful Inside No. 9, of course.
Specifically, the Halloween special, Dead Line.
Written by the series creators Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, what was expected to be a one-off live special turned out to be one of the greatest pranks in TV history.
You see, for weeks, Steve and Reece had been promoting the show as a story about a man who finds a ghostly mobile phone in a cemetery, and spooky shenanigans ensue.
It sounded like your typical Inside No. 9 episode, and while fans expected a rug pull of some kind, no one had any idea what Steve and Reece were cooking up.
The episode then began as you might expect, with Pemberton’s character walking into his flat with the haunted phone.
So far, so standardly spooky.
However, the ‘live’ episode was marred with technical difficulties; the sound was wonky, there were blips in the recording, and the live feed kept dropping in and out.
Eventually, after just a few minutes, the episode cut to a technical error card after which a slightly befuddled BBC continuity announcer apologised, explained that the live episode had been pulled, and that a repeat would be shown instead.
The BBC then began to play the fan favourite episode, A Quiet Night In – about two burglars trying to be quiet as they break into a man’s house.
However, something was off.
The iconic opening scene in which the two would-be thieves potter about the garden, trying to avoid the security light, featured a third blurry figure.
And as the light went on and off. The figure got closer.
And closer.
And closer.
Until eventually this undead thing was suddenly pressed against the glass as the sound warped.
Before the shock could set in, the episode once again cut to a technical difficulties plate and the announcer apologised for the issues.
But as the announcer spoke, another voice could be heard whispering, forcing them to stop and ask, ‘Is someone there?’ before cutting to CCTV footage from inside the studio Steve and Reece were filming, where the episode plays out.
I won’t explain what happens exactly, but needless to say, it doesn’t end well for the two stars.
Still, watching the first ten minutes of the episode was one of the most genuinely surprising and scary TV experiences of my life.
Now I could lie and say that I didn’t fall for their prank, that I’m too media savvy and smart to fall for a trick that, in hindsight, seems incredibly obvious.
But that would make me a liar.
I was genuinely freaked out by the opening and shaken by what I was watching. I remember pausing the show to take a breather after the jump scare reveal of the ghost.
It was not my finest hour.
In my defence, however, Steve and Reece had spent some time planting seeds in the papers about the studio they were filming in being haunted, so I was primed to see a ghost.
Oh, and to make matters worse. I wasn’t even watching it live.
I was watching it on iPlayer about 2 hours after the fact. Should I have realised that the BBC wouldn’t put up a broken live stream?
Maybe? But I’m willing to admit that while I might be a sceptic when it comes to the paranormal, I’m still a sucker for a good ghost story.
Inside No. 9 is available to watch now on BBC iPlayer… if you’re brave enough.
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