Charlie Sheen has opened up about his struggles with addiction, and why he ‘likes to think’ that the next hit would end his life.
The Two And A Half Men actor has been in the public eye for decades, after kicking off his acting career in the 80s with roles in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Platoon, Wall Street and No Man’s Land.
However, the 59-year-old was met with temptation soon after stepping into the spotlight and he began partying, enjoying the easy, never-ending access to alcohol and cocaine.
In a new interview to promote his memoir, The Book of Sheen, and upcoming Netflix documentary, aka Charlie Sheen, he worried that his success would end quickly so tried to make the most of it.
Speaking to People Magazine, the dad-of-five shared that he became addicted to alcohol and drugs, dabbling in crack, opiates and heroin over the years.
‘At my parties, I always said, “Park your judgement at the door. No pain in the bedroom. And no one can die,”’ the Scary Movie star told the outlet. ‘Those were good rules.’
As Charlie’s addiction issues spiraled in his 40s, his battle with sobriety continued to dominate headlines – he publicly went to rehab multiple times, while also dealing with two messy divorces.
He also welcomed four children at the height of his fame – Sam and Lola with ex-wife Denise Richards, and twins Max and Bob with former partner Brooke Mueller.
At one point, he was the highest-paid actor on TV thanks to his role in Two And A Half Men, but this came crashing down when he was fired in 2011.
Shortly after, he took part in an infamous interview on 20/20, where he told the host: ‘I was banging seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear.
‘I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I’ve got tiger blood. Dying is for fools, dying is for amateurs.
‘I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. If you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.’
According to People Magazine, Charlie reflected on this era of his life in his memoir, recalling an addiction to a testosterone cream that turned him into a ‘raving lunatic’.
Detailing his eventual decision to get clean for good in 2017, and his eight years of sobriety, he insisted to the publication: ‘You have to be willing.
‘I keep a [mental list] of the worst, most shameful things I’ve done, and I can look at that in my head if I feel like having a drink.
‘Whether it’s true or not, I like to think the next hit would kill me.’
On the eve of his 60th birthday, Charlie explained that he spent most of the previous decade apologizing to those he had hurt – but he is still grappling with forgiving himself for his actions.
‘I still get what I call the “shame shivers”, he added. ‘These are the moments that hit me, of the heinous memories and choices and consequences. They’re getting farther in between, so I guess that’s progress.
‘What has been interesting about making amends is that most people have been like, “Hey yeah, we’re good man, but we hope you’ve also forgiven yourself.”’
Worried about drugs?
Frank offers confidential advice about drugs and addiction (email frank@talktofrank.com, message 82111 or call 0300 123 6600) or the NHS has information about getting help.
Adfam has local groups for families affected by drugs and alcohol and DrugFam offers phone and email support to people affected by other people’s drug or alcohol misuse.