It’s a big competition to find the most chilling or infuriating piece of news about the Trump administration. For my money, one of the biggest candidates for “the worst thing about this whole sh-tshow” is that Congress gave ICE $76.5 BILLION in “new money,” with $30 billion for new staff. Taxpayers are now paying for a ramped-up, mercenary-lite faux-police force with little training and broad authority to arrest, abuse and detain people at will. With this new funding, ICE has loosened their restrictions on who can join. They’re now accepting applications from 18-year-olds with no experience and wingnut actors in their 50s. Speaking of, Dean Cain made a big deal, several weeks ago, about how he applied to be an ICE agent. Someone published Cain trying to go through an ICE-training obstacle course and… well… it did not go well for the 59-year-old.
First of all, if this was just some random 59-year-old guy doing a random obstacle course, I would not judge this. I wouldn’t care at all! It’s specific to this guy and this obstacle course. Dude thought he was signing up to be a big SS officer with a gun, rounding up minorities, and he can barely crawl through a pipe.
It’s been more than a quarter-century since Dean Cain played the Man of Steel—and it shows. The 59-year-old actor has begun his training to become an “honorary” ICE officer after signing up earlier this month as part of the agency’s massive recruitment drive, and Fox News was there to witness his efforts. In a Saturday morning segment on Fox & Friends, correspondent Alexis McAdams interviewed Cain at an ICE training facility in Brunswick, Georgia, about his decision to join ICE. Cain explained to McAdams that he joined because he “stand[s] with our law enforcement.”
”People don’t realize, they think that ICE is this horrible, nefarious group and they’re not—they’re phenomenal people,” he said.
The segment then cut to footage of Cain struggling to make his way through an obstacle course that took him over a wall, through a tunnel and required him to drag a dummy around. He was also filmed firing guns at a shooting range alongside acting ICE director Todd Lyons, who previously expressed a desire for turning the deportation process into something ”like [Amazon] Prime, but with human beings.”
Commenters on social media were quick to highlight Cain’s lack of prowess on the course, with one person noting, “So they can literally just easily run from this dude and not get caught. Cool.” Another asked if the video was slowed down, while someone else said that the footage proved Cain never did his own stunts. ”It’s kinda like watching a dog agility show but with a senior dog near death that attempts the course to the sympathetic applause from the audience,” one X user said.
The Fox News banner is like “look, Superman joined ICE!” And it’s just some out-of-shape has-been who desperately needs a knee brace, a couple of anti-inflammatory pills and some Icy Hot. About the whole Superman thing… again, Superman is an immigrant. He “came” to America illegally, in a spaceship or whatever. The “actual” Superman would not join ICE.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
