Jimmy Kimmel has been back on the air for two weeks now, and he hasn’t let up on reading Trump for the incompetent, incontinent gasbag he is. Or as some call it, simply reporting the news. I’ve been relieved to see how unmuzzled Kimmel is after his suspension; I was worried the Disney/ABC brass would insist on at least a little bit of softening. Realizing how relieved I was, though, was its own sobering kind of horror at how f–ked up things are in this country. And speaking of… YouGov has a new poll out showing just how f–ked up we are right now — and Kimmel made the poll! Two questions were about the favorability of each man, Kimmel and Trump, individually (as in not “Do you prefer one over the other?”). Kimmel’s results: 44% Favorable, 41% Unfavorable, 15% Don’t Know. Trump’s numbers: 41% Favorable, 54% Unfavorable, 5% Don’t Know (I find this last constituency more disturbing than the Favorables). Needless to say, Kimmel made hay out of scoring better than this sorry excuse of a president:
“According to a new poll from YouGov — which is a serious polling site … or they were before this — I am more popular than the president of the United States,” he said to explosive applause.
Kimmel continued, “You remember the guy who keeps saying I have no ratings? Well, that makes two of us. They polled more than 1,000 people, and I lead Trump by 16 points. I’m at plus three; he’s at minus 13.”
…Kimmel described the findings as “nice,” but added, “Considering the fact that I’m not a convicted felon friend of Jeffrey Epstein and I’ve never paid off a porn star or sent a team of masked goons into a park to pull an old lady away from her grandchildren, I feel like my rating should be higher maybe?”
“At this point, finding a toenail in your salad has a seven-point lead over Donald Trump,” he said.
The host, who recently returned to TV after the suspension supported by Trump, jokingly added, “I really hope he doesn’t see this” in reference to the poll. “I hate to, you know, I don’t like to upset him.”
“But I think he might be upset because the White House put out a statement this afternoon,” Kimmel said. “This is a real statement: ‘Over 77 million Americans showed up on election day to cast their ballots for President Donald J. Trump, who is delivering on his overwhelming mandate to put America first. Jimmy Kimmel prays every night to garner a fraction of that support to keep his show on air after ratings dropped 64% last week. Sad!’”
…“You know what else is sad?” Kimmel asked, answering, “That the president of the United States has a lower approval rating than Diddy and diarrhea. That’s what’s said.”
Providing a word of advice, Kimmel revealed how Trump could improve his approval rating since the president “cares very deeply about this sort of thing.”
“If he’s looking to improve his approval numbers, I have an idea — release the Epstein files,” the late-night host said.
“They did a poll on that, too,” Kimmel went on. “A vast majority say they want to see the Epstein files. Seventy-seven percent of Americans want the Epstein files released, but 100% of our American president does not want them released.”
That’s very gracious and benevolent of Kimmel to hand out advice to his nemesis while taking his own victory lap. We all know the same would not happen if the shoe were on the other cankled-foot. Kimmel appeared in one more question on the poll, “Did Jimmy Kimmel Comments Merit Show Cancellation?” and those results were even stronger for him: 55% said No to 30% who said Yes, while 16% were unsure. Yeah, curbing free speech really cuts to the core for Americans; it’s not the first amendment for nothing. And like the saying goes, when even Ted F–king Cruz is on your side…
All of the data of this poll points to Americans being overwhelmingly against Trump’s agenda of destruction. Most see right through him, like the 55% who said Yes, Trump IS directing the DOJ to attack his political opponents. Not to sound like a broken record, but where was this clarity a year ago?? Since we can’t (yet) go back in time — though the GOP is working tirelessly on it — in the meantime I hope someone on Etsy is silkscreening a “Donald, Diddy and Diarrhea” t-shirt.
Release the Epstein files! And may every poll be another wonderful secret.
Photos credit: Avalon.red, Sadou Faye/Avalon, Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon