Kelly Ripa Jokes About Life After Mark Consuelos: ‘Dating Is Out of the Question’

Kelly Ripa has made it quite clear. She isn’t here for dating apps, dinner meetups, or dimly lit flirtations. At least not in a hypothetical world where she and longtime husband Mark Consuelos split up, of course. No rumors here, people! 

On a recent episode of “Live with Kelly and Mark,” the morning show turned into a light-hearted therapy session as Ripa cracked jokes about her own “dating repellent” habits. She went on to declare herself officially off the market for eternity, even in theory.

“Let’s say if you and I broke up,” Ripa said to Consuelos, citing a list of what not to do if you want to attract a man. “I’m doing all of these things to be repellent to a man!”

But then she doubled down.

“Let’s just say you were to leave me,” she continued. “I can say with 100 percent certainty that dating is out of the question. I’ve had three kids, there’s too much to explain.”

That wasn’t all. Ripa got candid and comically graphic about her level of interest in intimacy post-Mark. “I’m not ever getting naked again — and I resent having to get naked in front of you sometimes,” she said, causing Mark to crack up. Because, well, these two have been married for ages.

 â€œI’m like, no, no, no, light out, you can wait until dark. Also, turn off that light, and also turn off your cell phone light. I want it pitch-black in here. And no unexpected touching!”

Safe to say, if there’s ever a breakup (don’t worry, there’s not), Ripa has zero plans to download Tinder. Which, honestly, is fair enough; we don’t blame her. Things are scary out there sometimes. So yeah, stay in the green zone, Ripa.

From Soap Stars to Morning Show Icons

The couple has been the ultimate soap-to-daytime success story. The two met while co-starring on “All My Children,” secretly eloped in Las Vegas in 1996, and have since raised three children, Michael, Lola, and Joaquin. Their on-air chemistry as co-hosts keeps fans laughing (and occasionally blushing) on a daily basis due to how honest and candid they are with each other, despite being benign on air.

Earlier this year, Ripa revealed they kept their marriage under wraps for months until radio host Wendy Williams blew their cover. “Nobody at All My Children knew we were even dating, much less married,” she shared. “We’re brushing our teeth and we’ve got Wendy Williams’ radio show on… she’s like, ‘I’ve got a celebrity dish.’ And there we were.”

Now, nearly 30 years later, they’re still broadcasting from the same love wavelength. And sometimes even getting surprise foot massages on-air.

A New ‘Plan B’ With Kelly Ripa & David Muir

While the couple is clearly solid, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have other close bonds. Recently, Ripa also went viral for talking about another one of her favorite men. For years, it’s been known that she is close with “World News Tonight” anchor David Muir. The pair’s friendship goes way beyond the newsroom, and during a recent “Live” episode, Muir joined Ripa to talk about their dream retirement plan. Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of dogs, and we’re so here for it.

“The woman who runs Axel’s doggy daycare has the best business model ever,” Muir said, referring to his beloved pooch. “She hikes with them all day, out of the city.”

Kelly was fully onboard, dubbing it their official “Plan B.” The idea isn’t as far-fetched as it seems. Muir is considered part of the Ripa-Consuelos inner circle; he’s even mentioned in the acknowledgments of Ripa’s memoir “Live Wire” as “the backbone and moral compass I need sometimes.”

Their playful bond goes way back.

Catch “Live with Kelly and Mark” weekdays in syndication. And stay tuned… just in case that “Plan B” dog-walking dream becomes reality. And don’t worry, they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, especially after they just moved their studio. 

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