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We make fun of Kody Brown on a fairly regular basis here at The Hollywood Gossip.
This is someone who seems very self-absorbed and clueless and who has lost three spiritual spouses over the last couple of years after they all came to this same realization about the now-former polygamist.
But Kody suffered through the most painful tragedy imaginable in March of 2024 when his son Garrison committed suicide.
We truly cannot imagine what he has been going through ever since.
On the latest episode of Sister Wives, however, we got a glimpse.
The installment was filmed close to present day and was dedicated to Garrison, who suffered from alcoholism and Depression around the time of his death.
Previously, we recounted how mother Janelle Brown learned about Garrison’s passing and what the young man’s final days were like.
Kody also spoke out in candid fashion during this episode, though.
“Grief comes in waves. It just wasn’t supposed to be this way. You know what I’m saying?” Kody, 56, said during the May 4 installment of the TLC series, which marked the first time the family addressed Garrison’s death on camera.
“It’s just heartbreaking.”
Kody wasn’t speaking to Garrison in early 2024.
The two clashed over Kody’s strict rules and guidelines during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, basically forbidding his loved ones from seeing anyone outside of their homes. At really any time.
Kody confessed on air this past Sunday:
“I didn’t get a chance to really just make things right, just not being able to say goodbye… All the frustration I had over stuff with COVID and everything like that, all of a sudden that’s just, like, they’re so unimportant. I’m just sad. Sad about what would have been.”
There must be so much regret.
Kody acknowledged it here in one of both his confessional interviews and also his interactions with wife Robyn.
“It’s like I’ve got to do something different because I could have had more time with him, and I thought there would be more time,” Kody said at one point. “Everybody thinks they got more time.”
This is, sadly, so very true.
Later in the episode, Kody broke down to Robyn Brown, asking, “How am I going to do this? How do I do the rest of my life with every holiday and every birthday?”
Since Garrison’s suicide, Kody said he made it his mission to get Garrison’s ashes back to Wyoming, where most of his extended family is buried.
“It’s a pilgrimage in a way, just part of the process for me,” the father of 17 explained. “It’s the only thing I want from it. … I just want to take his body home and put him in the ground.”
Last year, Kody spoke to People Magazine about this unimaginable tragedy.
“The wave of grief is different that any wave of grief I have ever had with a best friend passing, with a relative passing. It’s different,” he said back then. “And it is different in the idea that it’s irreconcilable — the future that we missed with him.”
Kody added that his “only regret” when he thinks back is that he wishes he’d taken “advantage of the time” he had with Garrison.
“I want to go out to dinner again. I want to sit down. I want to have a beer. I want him to try and make me laugh because he was kind of that way. The only regret is just, gosh, I would just do that more often,” he said.
“The only regret is that you didn’t do something. You didn’t take more time.”
Kody Brown Breaks Down Over Son’s Suicide: “I’m Just Sad” was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.