Lily Allen reveals abusive ex’s brutal put-down to ‘assert control’ over her

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Lily Allen has detailed the unsettling actions of an ‘abusive’ ex (Picture: John Nacion/ WWD via Getty Images)

Lily Allen has spoken about how an ex-partner ‘bullied and abused her’.

Rising to fame in 2005, Lily’s debut single Smile reached number 1 on the UK Singles Chart, while her debut album Alright, Still peaked at number 2.

Throughout her career to date, she’s won a Brit Award and been nominated for a Grammy and Laurence Olivier Award.

Over the years the 40-year-old has also seen her private life generate plenty of attention, with the star now detailing how a past relationship affected her self-esteem.  

On the latest episode of her podcast Miss Me?, which she hosts with friend Miquita Oliver, Lily detailed the lengths her ex – who she didn’t name – would go to in a bid to assert control over her.

Calling the ex ‘abusive and bullying’, she went on to explain: ‘It was somebody I was in a relationship with would do it to me [accusing her of having poor hygiene] and I don’t think that it was real’.

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She said the unnamed ex would make her question her hygiene (Picture: XNY/ Star Max/ GC Images)
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Lily’s marriage to Stranger Things star David Harbour broke down late last year (Picture: Eamonn M. McCormack/ Getty Images)

‘I think that it was like a form of bullying and abuse, it was a horrible one. And as bullying forms of abuse go, it’s a really horrible one.’

She continued: ‘Yeah, it was like done on purpose to make me feel self-conscious and sh** about myself. And make them feel powerful. I don’t think I’ve brushed my hair in any relationship. I just don’t brush my hair full stop.’

In recent months Lily has also been open about her recent marriage break-down to ex-husband David Harbour.

Earlier this year it emerged she’d split from the Stranger Things star, 50, whom she met in 2019 and married the following year.

Since their split it’s been reported that he’d been on dating apps while they were still together and also engaged in a three-year long affair. Late last year Lily described ‘not being in a great place mentally’ and later that she was ‘feeling like a burden when low and lonely’.

Lily was previously in a relationship with the Chemical Brothers musician Ed Simons for five months in 2007.

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She was previously married to builder Sam Cooper from 2011 until 2015 (Picture: Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/ Getty Images)

She then went to meet builder and decorator Sam Cooper two years later. They went on to marry in 2011 and gave birth to their daughter Ethel the same year.

The couple then had a second daughter – Marnie – in 2013.

However, they split in 2015 after Lily admitted to cheating on her husband with female escorts, which she detailed in her memoir My Thoughts Exactly.

She has also previously dated art dealer Jay Jopling and grime MC Meridian Dan and was recently linked to Happy Valley actor James Norton.

On her podcast last year Lily admitted she ‘had children for all the wrong reasons’.

‘I was yearning for unconditional love, which I haven’t felt in my life since I was a child,’ she said.

‘Also, my career was at such a high speed, you know high pressure and I’m a people pleaser and I felt like very overwhelmed by what was happening.

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The singer recently spoke about undergoing a series of abortions (Picture: Dave Benett/ Getty Images)

‘I just didn’t get much respite and I felt like the one way to stop people hassling me, it’s not about me it’s about this other person that’s inside me.’

Earlier this month she also spoke about having several abortions, saying she would ‘get pregnant all the time’.

‘Abortions, I’ve had a few, but then again I can’t remember exactly how many,’ she said, before estimating she’d had ‘about four or five’.

Her comments come a few years after she took to the stage at Glastonbury with Olivia Rodrigo to sing her 00s classic F**k You in protest of the Supreme Court overturning Roe vs Wade that week.

What to do if you’re experiencing domestic abuse

If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone. And whether you are currently coping with or have made the decision to leave, you do have options.

  • If you are thinking about leaving, domestic abuse charity Refuge suggests starting a record of abusive incidents, which might include saving pictures or messages, or making notes of times, dates and details of incidents.
  • The next step is to make copies of important documents such as court orders, marriage certificates, National Insurance Numbers and your driving licence.
  • In the meantime, identify the safer areas of your home so that you know where to go if your abuser becomes aggravated. Ideally, this should be a room with a phone and a door or window to the outside.
  • If you feel ready to leave, start by making a plan for a safe, reliable route out. If you feel safe to do so, pack an emergency bag so that you leave in a hurry if needed.
  • You can access a local refuge, either with or without children, for as long as you need to stay. The address is confidential. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is open 24-hours a day and has all the details of refuges in your area.
  • In an emergency situation, ring 999 and ask for the police. If you aren’t able to talk, try the Silent Solution: after dialling 999, listen to the questions from the operator and respond by coughing or tapping your device, if possible. If prompted, press 55 to let the operator know it’s an emergency – you’ll be put through to the police.

Read more here.

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