Sir Anthony Hopkins has admitted he walked out on his first marriage after becoming ‘afraid’ he could become physically violent.
The Welsh actor, 87, rose to prominence as part of the Royal National Theatre, going on to star in films including The Silence of the Lambs, Nixon, The Two Popes and The Father.
Throughout his career he’s won two Academy Awards, four BAFTA Awards, two Primetime Emmy Awards, and a Laurence Olivier Award.
Now, the acclaimed performer is about to release his memoir, We Did Ok, Kid, which shares details of his personal life away from the spotlight over the years.
That includes the breakdown of his turbulent marriage to first wife, actress Petronella Barker, from 1967 until 1972.
Writing in his memoir, as per the Daily Mail, Sir Anthony explains: ‘In the evenings, I bought bottles of whiskey at the off-license and took them back to the flat. My depression was boundless; the booze was my pacifier. I brooded. She raged.’
However, by the time they realised ‘what an awful match we were’, she was pregnant with their daughter Abigail.
He went on to explain that his wife loathed his working-class parents and would leave the house when they came to visit.
But, acknowledging his own shortcomings, he explained that he was ‘impossible to live with’.
‘I didn’t know how to cut through, how to become human, how to keep myself from slipping into darkness.’
The couple had ‘frequent rows’, but one night it ‘reached a new pitch’. ‘I returned from working on location in Scotland. Exhausted after endless days on set and the long trip home, I set down my suitcases in the hall.’
Before his coat was off, Petronella was mocking him, staring at him with ‘utter contempt’ and calling him ‘Mr Lord High and Mighty’.
‘I had never been physically violent, but in that moment, I was filled with such revulsion that I became afraid for both myself and her,’ he shared.
After saying goodbye to their then 14-month-old daughter, he packed his bag and left.
‘Aside from sending financial support, I didn’t have contact with Petronella and Abigail for a few years after that. It is the saddest fact of my life, and my greatest regret, and yet I feel absolutely sure that it would have been much worse for everyone if I’d stayed,’ he reflected.
Sir Anthony went on to marry film production assistant Jennifer Lynton in 1973, before they divorced in 2002. He has been married to antiques dealer Stella Arroyave since 2003.
Earlier this week, he was asked about his strained relationship with his daughter, whom he is estranged from.
Sir Anthony told The New York Times newspaper that his wife Stella had reached out for her to ‘come and see us’.
‘Not a word of response. So I think, okay, fine,’ he said.
He added that he wouldn’t ‘waste blood’ over their situation: ‘I wish her well, but I’m not going to waste blood over that. If you want to waste your life being in resentment, fine, go ahead.’
Sir Anthony then explained he wasn’t going to carry any feelings of ‘resentment’ and acknowledged that he was ‘imperfect’.
‘I could carry resentment over the past, but that’s death. You’re not living. You have to acknowledge one thing: that we are imperfect.We’re not saints. We’re all sinners and saints or whatever we are. We do the best we can.
‘Life is painful. Sometimes people get hurt. Sometimes we get hurt. But you can’t live like that. You have to say, Get over it. And if you can’t get over it, fine, good luck to you. I have no judgment. But I did what I could. So that’s it. That’s all I want to say.’
When asked if he hoped his daughter would read his new memoir, he said he didn’t care.
‘I’m not going to answer that. No. I don’t care.’
When the reporter said they’d move on, he said: ‘Please. I want you to. Because I don’t want to hurt her.’
The actor has previously commented on his daughter, who is now in her mid-fifties, admitting he has no idea what her life is like now.
In 2018, when asked by Radio Times if he is a grandfather now, Sir Anthony replied: ‘I don’t have any idea. People break up. Families split and, you know, “Get on with your life.” People make choices. I don’t care one way or the other.’
In another interview in 2002, with the American DJ Howard Stern, Sir Anthony said of his daughter. “I hardly ever hear from her.
‘She probably has good reasons. I guess we are estranged. I hope she is well. She is too busy and has to do her own thing. I think she is in England somewhere. Life is life. You get on with it.’
In a 2006 interview with The Telegraph, Abigail, who is a singer, said she could possibly be open to a reunion.
‘It would have to be a two-way thing, though. I don’t know how I would feel about it. We have never really been close. We’ve never discussed big life issues. Because, well, our relationship was always so sporadic. I’ve never felt I could discuss those sorts of things with him.’
She added that she saw her father once a year growing up, until they fell out when she was 16, about her mother.
‘I would see him, but maybe once a year. There is a little bit of sadness but I have to get on with my life. It has always been like that. See him, and then not. Then, when I was 16, there was some row,’ she said.
We Did Ok, Kid will be released on November 4.
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