Stephen Fry, 67, gives rare insight into age gap with husband Elliott Spencer, 36

Stephen Fry laughs with his husband Elliott Spencer (R). Both wear black suits.
Stephen Fry has shared rare comments about his husband Elliott Spencer (Picture: Billy Farrell/BFA/REX/Shutterstock)

Stephen Fry keeps his relationship with husband Elliott Spencer out of the spotlight but has made a rare comment about their 30-year age gap.

The pair marked their 10-year wedding anniversary this year, having first met at a friend’s party in the early 2010s.

Last year, Stephen, 67, had to address breakup speculation as Elliott, 36, had not been seen with him for quite some time, with the Celebrity Traitors star reassuring fans all was ok.

He’s now spoken on Rylan Clark’s new podcast — Rylan: How to Be in Love — about their ‘successful relationship’, getting candid about the ups and downs of the age gap.

When asked about the secret to a healthy relationship, Stephen quipped: ‘I can tell you how to have a successful relationship with Elliot, but that’s probably not very helpful.’

He shared that Elliott has introduced him to aspects of culture that he would never have considered diving into before.

Editorial use only Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jabpromotions/REX/Shutterstock (4110604bj) Stephen Fry and Elliott Spencer The World's Greatest Quiz organised by Quintessentially Foundation in aid of Dimbleby Cancer Care, London, Britain - 23 Sep 2014
Elliott is around three decades younger than Stephen (Picture: Jabpromotions/REX/Shutterstock)
They met at a party over 10 years ago (Picture: Simon Ackerman/WireImage)

‘He teaches me things I just didn’t know,’ praised Stephen. ‘He introduced me to Kendrick Lamar, which was a great thing to do because Kendrick Lamar I’ve decided is a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure. 

‘But that plus, now you’re really going to laugh here because I thought, is he insane? He has a great affection for, and I guess you could call it ironic, but it’s real — for WWE…’

We’re not sure Elliott’s age accounts for this WWE fascination, as it was founded in the 50s, however, Wrestlemania did have a massive popularity boom in the 90s.

Rylan, 36, asked if the presenter was ‘now a WWE fan’ to which he replied that he is and has even bought tickets for Las Vegas.

Apple Music Super Bowl LIX Halftime Show
Stephen is now a fan of Kendrick Lamar (Picture: Michael Owens/Getty Images)
TULSA, OKLAHOMA - JUNE 02: Liv Morgan with an aerial attack to Stephanie Vaquer and Ivy Nile during Monday Night RAW at BOK Center on June 2, 2025 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. (Photo by WWE/Rich Freeda/WWE via Getty Images)
And even bought two tickets to watch wrestling (Picture: WWE/Rich Freeda/WWE via Getty Images)

When speaking about what makes a relationship so strong, the former QI host shared: ‘I guess it’s all the normal human virtues – some of which are forgotten virtues – but one of the most important human virtues, I think, isn’t even really considered a virtue.’

‘But it is one that changes the world. And it’s not kindness, which obviously is important, but it’s a subset of kindness, perhaps. And it’s cheerfulness.’

He explained that a cheerful person ‘makes everything better’, adding: ‘They’re like their own sunshine. So that’s one of the things, if one is down to help the other come up…’

Stephen has spoken about his struggles with depression in the past, having been diagnosed with cyclothymia, a form of bipolar disorder.

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 06: Elliot Spencer (L) and Stephen Fry attend Harvey Weinstein's BAFTA Dinner in partnership with Burberry & GREY GOOSE at Little House Mayfair on February 6, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Getty Images for GREY GOOSE)
Elliott is a ‘cheerful person’ who helps brighten Stephen’s day (Picture: David M. Benett/Getty Images for GREY GOOSE)
Mandatory Credit: Photo by Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock (4419632t) Stephen Fry and Elliot Spencer The Weinstein Company, Entertainment Film Distributors, Studiocanal 2015 BAFTA after party in partnership with Jimmy Choo & Grey Goose at Rosewood London, Britain - 08 Feb 2015
Although Elliott isn’t much of a morning person (Picture: Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock)

‘Understand each other’s differences as emotional human beings,’ the St Trinians actor said. ‘For example, I had to understand, and he had to understand, that I am extremely energetic and bouncy and chatty in the mornings at breakfast and he is not.

‘So I had to find ways of just calming myself and he had to come up a little bit and not be quite so kind of, “will you shut up Stephen!”‘

Stephen has said before that Elliott ‘saved his life’, revealing in 2016 after a tough stretch that his husband helps calm him – as well as getting his medication right.

He has also shared that he was initially hesitant about persuing the bond he felt with Elliott as although he knew ‘pretty much straight away’ that he wanted to ‘spend the rest of my life’ together, he wondered if Elliott thought the same because ‘he’s got rather a lot more [life to go than me]’.

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