I’ll admit that I’ve never paid much attention to the Kents, so I’m playing catch-up on their lives now, after the Duchess of Kent passed away last Thursday. The Duke of Kent was Queen Elizabeth II’s first cousin, and they were apparently pretty close throughout their lives. It also feels like QEII liked Katherine, the Duchess of Kent, and there were certain arrangements made to ensure that Katherine still lived a comfortable and protected life even when the Kents’ marriage fell apart. While theirs was an estranged marriage, they never divorced and continued to live (somewhat) together, just with separate lives, in true “Catholic divorce” style. Around the time of the Kents’ marital estrangement, Katherine stepped back from being a working royal, she gave up her HRH and she began working as a music teacher at a London school. She also taught piano lessons privately. All while retaining her general position in society, a home in the palace and her marriage on paper. Well, the British royalist media didn’t even wait 24 hours after the Duchess’s death before they began comparing her to the Duchess of Sussex. Some highlights from this audaciously vile Telegraph piece: “The Duchess of Kent epitomised the selflessness and duty Meghan should have shown; Both were seen as beautiful, stylish additions to the The Firm and both gave up their royal duties, but only one handled it well.”
Giving up the HRH: In 1996, the Duchess of Kent – who died yesterday at the age of 92 – gave up her HRH title and royal duties after a long period of ill-health so that she could teach singing at a state school in Hull. The split came with the blessing of the Queen and the full support of the British public, proving that break-ups can be amicable if they are handled well. “There was no scandal at all when she stepped back – people thought it was a bit of a shame, but because she was such a gentle character they just accepted it,” says Ingrid Seward, a royal biographer and the editor-in-chief of Majesty Magazine. “The Queen was relaxed because she saw Kate Kent as being a truly good person who had gone through some well publicised problems; if this was going to make her happier, then it was the right thing.”
Meghan & Harry should have just faded away!! Equally, giving up royal duties to become a music teacher called Mrs Kent, is not all that similar to signing an array of multi-million dollar entertainment deals in California, and then going on the Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about how badly you have been treated. “It’s chalk and cheese,” says Seward. “Kate just quietly faded into the background and I think that suited her very well. In fact, I couldn’t even begin to think of two more opposite people: Meghan is all about Meghan and Kate Kent was all about people other than herself.”
Tominey chimes in on the comparison: Telegraph associate editor Camilla Tominey, who interviewed the Duchess of Kent for these pages, adds that she had a post-royal career the family could be proud of, rather than one that caused them immeasurable distress. “The Queen really admired her sense of duty,” says Tominey. “The trouble with Meghan is that she would want a Netflix show following her around a school in Hull, whereas the Duchess of Kent was very discreet.”
Meghan & Katherine both traveled overseas for tours & royal work: But according to biographer Tina Brown, Meghan didn’t enjoy any of it. “So Meghan must have been thrilled with it all… right? No,” she wrote in her book Palace Papers. “She apparently hated every second of it. She found the itinerary of engagements “pointless”. On the other hand, the Duchess of Kent radiated warmth – even if her apparent ease in public did not come naturally. “I think in her heart she was still a country girl and it didn’t come naturally going on royal tours,” says Seward. “I think she would rather have been back in Yorkshire – but she did it all with a smile and never made any fuss.”
Meghan & Katherine both lost pregnancies: The Duchess of Kent was no stranger to mental health issues and understood all too well the difficulties that being in the limelight can cause. In 1975, she caught measles and was advised to terminate her fourth pregnancy (at this point she already had three healthy children) for medical reasons. Two years after that, she became pregnant again but tragically had a stillbirth at 36 weeks. “The miscarriages and the depression and the lost baby must have really taken a toll,” says Seward. “I don’t know if she enjoyed being a royal – she was very close to her father and she wanted him to be proud of her, but when she’d had enough she’d had enough and was brave enough to follow her own path.” One could say the same for Meghan, who lost a pregnancy of her own in 2020, between the births of Archie and Lilibet – but where the Duchess of Sussex turned her pain into fury at the Queen, William and Kate, the courtiers and the whole British public, the Duchess of Kent appeared to look outwards and discovered that helping others brought her the peace and meaning she had been searching for.
Meghan’s flower sprinkles: “I always remember Diana saying she thought the Duchess of Kent was one of the members of the Royal family who truly cared about others – not because of duty or for appearances sake, but because she really wanted to help,” says Seward. And while the Duchess of Sussex would argue that she too has helped in her way (anyone who yearns to know more about crudités platters and edible flowers must have found her work invaluable) most of her projects have ended up being more about Meghan than anything or anyone else.
If the Duchess of Kent really was so lovely, empathetic and genuine, she probably wouldn’t want to be used as a prop to attack Meghan or any other woman. These bitter, racist fools don’t even understand that their every comparison shows exactly why Meghan needed to get the f–k away from them. “Meghan should have done it this way, like the perfect white duchess!” “How dare Meghan make crudite platters, she could be doing charity work which we would also denigrate!” How quickly they forget too – Meghan and Harry offered to stick around and be half-in. They were told that no one had ever done that, and it couldn’t be done! Except for white royals, then it’s done all the time. This reminds me so much of the “Harry should have been more like Princess Margaret” stories – they’re incandescent with rage that Harry isn’t a drunken, damaged mess, and they’re furious that they can’t force Meghan to divorce her husband.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
