In the long-running narratives about the Sussexit and the estrangement between Prince Harry and his family, royal commentators are loath to place the blame on King Charles. Sometimes, there’s a brief acknowledgement that Charles is the one who cut off communications, or that Charles probably could do more to reconcile with Harry, but usually those conversations are couched in “but of course Harry and Meghan are terrible and they have no one to blame but themselves!” Well, there’s been a slight undercurrent of dissension from the party line. And the fact that the Telegraph published this column, which lays the blame entirely on Charles, says a lot to me. The royalists are increasingly fed up with the Windsors’ immaturity, pettiness and myopic arrogance.
There is nothing sadder or more depressing than a family feud; particularly one where a parent, ill with cancer, is estranged from one of their two children. Life is short and precious; the graveyards are full of “irreplaceable” CEOs, editors, politicians… and kings. The only people we are truly irreplaceable to are our families. That is why King Charles and Prince William should not just accept Harry’s olive branch – he offered this weekend to share his official diary with his father and brother so his activities don’t unintentionally eclipse theirs on the front pages – but do so quickly.
The dreaded “palace sources” indicate that this gesture by Harry will go some way to mollifying his father (Charles was apparently miffed that Harry’s trip to see landmines in Africa this month inadvertently knocked Queen Camilla’s birthday portrait off the front pages of the papers, which is why they are going to sync calendars from now on). But all this talk of dovetailing schedules and the King’s people talking to Harry’s people is ridiculous. Whether we are princes or paupers, family is family: sometimes, our nearest and dearest drive us nuts; sometimes, we may not love their choice of partner; sometimes, they behave in ways which hurt or humiliate.
But them’s the breaks! Blood is thicker than water. Our kin are our kin. The point of family is we look past faults and embrace the love that binds; that we bite our tongues when we want to yell, and give them a big hug anyway… because they are our brother, or dad, or sister, which matters much more in the long run than feeling piqued. Those of us who live in complicated families learn to lower our expectations and move on, with love. Harry lost his mum as a child, his dad has cancer and hasn’t seen his grandchildren for years; his sister-in-law has also been gravely ill. His brother needs him. The cousins should know each other.
This is a time for the Royal family to pull together; to let bygones be bygones. Come on, Charles, show some true statesmanship, befitting your role as the head of the Church of England, and forgive Harry and Meghan before it is too late. That is the yardstick by which you will be judged. We may not all be kings, but we all know what family is about. Harry is trying to meet you on the territory that you most care about (your royal image) – it’s up to you as King, but most importantly as his father, to bury the hatchet. Come on, Charles, be the grown-up, the paterfamilias, and get off your high horse… There’s no time like the present.
All kinds of shady digs in here, right? “That is the yardstick by which you will be judged” – that’s what the NY Times said a few months ago, that this estrangement will be a huge part of how Charles is remembered, a legacy of family estrangement and bitterness. “Harry is trying to meet you on the territory that you most care about (your royal image)…” Ouch. Fair but true – Charles doesn’t give a sh-t about actually spending time with the Sussexes, but he does give a sh-t about being perceived as a family man. “His brother needs him.” Double ouch – it’s funny how we’re now at the point where everyone openly admits that William can’t do anything by himself.
I also have to go back to this: “Charles was apparently miffed that Harry’s trip to see landmines in Africa this month inadvertently knocked Queen Camilla’s birthday portrait off the front pages of the papers.” This was cited in the Mail’s coverage this weekend, that Harry stole his evil stepmother’s birthday thunder by visiting Angola on behalf of the HALO Trust. Two things about this storyline: Harry literally had British outlets banned from Angola – the British editors could have easily chosen to focus on Camilla’s birthday, but instead those editors made the choice to give front-page coverage to Harry. That’s not Harry’s fault. Second thing: if the Windsors wanted any kind of say on the Sussexes’ schedule, they really should have accepted the half-in offer. That is still the biggest catastrophe of this whole situation, the fact that the Windsors were too stupid and short-sighted to understand that.
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Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar and Cover Images.
