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Behold: Dudius moronicus. An outlier in Darwin’s acclaimed survival of the fittest theory, this variety of the male species has managed to not only survive, but thrive in the world. Defying all sense of logic, this subset is chiefly characterized by their confidence — communicated loudly and regularly — yet more frequently than not, founded on nothing. Here’s a case study: Mel Owens, 66-year-old male, will be the next Golden Bachelor when the show returns for its sophomore season in the fall. As the title suggests, The Golden Bachelor is a spinoff in the Bachelor franchise dedicated to single 50 and 60-somethings looking for love. But GB Mel seems to think he’s the only one allowed to be of golden years age. He just shot his mouth off on a podcast about how he told producers he, a man of 66, didn’t want to date any women over 60. The more he kept talking, the more asinine it got:
When The Golden Bachelor first debuted two years ago, it was a pretty exciting departure for a franchise whose female winners are rarely over 30. It even inspired some seniors to give dating a shot again — a theme the show heavily leaned into. “It’s never too late to fall in love again,” the first Golden Bachelor, Gerry Turner, told Good Morning America shortly before his season aired.
But apparently that’s not how the show’s newest star sees it. Mel Owens, who will be the titular Golden Bachelor in season two, revealed in an interview earlier this month that he doesn’t want to date any women over 60. Speaking on the University of Michigan football podcast MGoBlue, Owens said producers asked him what his dating preferences were. “So I just said 45 to 60. Just being honest, right?” said Owens, who is 66.
Apparently, that age requirement is strict for Owens, who has been eligible for Social Security for four years now. “I said, ‘If they’re 60 or over, I’m cutting them. This is not the Silver Bachelor, this is The Golden Bachelor,’” he recalled telling producers.
Owens said they also must be “fit,” noting that staying in shape is important to him. “And I told them to try to stay away from the artificial hips and the wigs,” he added. Well then!
Pushed by the interviewer on what he was actually looking for, Owens kept it pretty simple. “Well, like I just told you,” he said, adding that he wants someone who is “energetic, a lifetime learner,” and someone who “enjoys to love life,” whatever that means. Oh, yeah, and someone who likes to “work out and stay fit,” he reiterated, in case that wasn’t clear the first time.
It’s a pretty cold outlook for a show explicitly created for “senior men and women looking for love.” There’s no specific age range required to be on the show, but most states define “senior” as over the age of 65 — which, again, Owens himself is. In the show’s first season, no contestant was younger than 60, and the oldest were 75.
What a tool! What a jackass! Pardon my swearing, but, you know, “Just being honest, right?” He makes Martha Stewart appear almost classy in her retort that she’d never do The Golden Bachelorette because the guys weren’t hot enough. Hotness can be judged at any age! And I must second The Cut’s question: WTF does “enjoys to love life,” mean? I guess Mel isn’t a “lifetime learner” himself, at least not when it comes to syntax. I am so utterly and thoroughly icked out by this Neanderthal. Interviewer: “What kind of love are you looking for from this experience?” Mel: “Woman. Fit. Young. Fit. Exercise. Fit. CAN’T BE MY AGE.” The man has well and truly shown himself, and I seriously hope it torpedoes the casting process currently underway. (But I’m not holding my breath, either.) When Rosie covered Jazzy Collins the other day, a reality TV casting director, (who is not working on TGB), Jazzy noted that authenticity is what they’re looking for in audition tapes, even if you’re authentically the “villain.” Was that the play with casting Mel Owens? Cause the one thing I’ll give him credit for, is that he is being genuinely himself; an honest d-ckhead.