By now, we are widely accepting of the notion that we can’t win as women.
Too fat, too thin, too tall, too strong, too old, too mumsy, too bony, too soft, too muscly, too curvy… you name it, we’re doing it (wrong).
Historically, this impossibility has targeted us disproportionately. But increasingly, men are finding themselves in the firing line.
This week, Olly Murs’ nutritionist shared a pretty remarkable transformation photo to his Instagram celebrating the singer’s 12-week progress.
Look, I’ve got my own complicated thoughts on before and after pictures. To me, it upholds the notion that we are ornamental, to be perceived and judged first and foremost.
I believe the insinuation is that one body is better than the other and because we have systematically associated worth and morality with thinness, the implication has always felt that the smaller of the two versions is the better one, in every sense of the word.
And forgive me, but I think that’s a bit of bollocks.
All that said, I can also see that they have their place in the marketing of a programme like the one Olly’s nutritionist has had him on. Not to mention that the client is happy with the side-by-sides, so who am I to criticise?
The problematic nature of this, to my mind, comes in the conversation around the photos themselves. The before and after pictures made their way to X, where there was a poll asking people to vote on which body they preferred – broken down into men and women.
Within these comment sections, we see how the twisted beauty ideals that have blighted women forever and ever, have a firm grip on men now, too.
According to the poll, 42.6% of the men who responded said that he looked better afterwards. This is not really surprising, given the rise of the manosphere online and how so much of the incel ideology is becoming more mainstream.
Incels talk about the 80/20 rule, which is the belief that 80% of women find just 20% of men attractive. And while an incentive for sharing ideas like this is anti-women in nature, a lot of it is shared as a means of telling men that they must be stronger and fitter if they want to make it into the 20% so that women will find them attractive.
Thankfully, incels are still very few and far between, but with the meteoric popularity of men online like Andrew Tate, incel culture and ideology is trickling into the public psyche.
Of the women polled, 7% said they preferred Olly Murs after his body transformation, with 26.8% preferring him before. This is not a surprise, given women time and time again swoon for the ‘dad bod’ (in ways we can only dream of men doing for the mum-bod… but that’s a chat for another day).
I am not comfortable analysing these results in this way, to be honest. To my earlier point, I feel I’m placing much too much value on Olly’s appearance and the opinions about it, which ought to be entirely irrelevant.
But it’s disappointing reading through the comments to see so many from men, tearing down a man for his appearance.
One commented: ‘Women in this poll are lying, I know from experience how women feel about 6 packs.’ Others commented that the only reason women chose the first picture is because of Olly’s ‘receding’ hairline in the second.
What everyone should be focusing on – and the trait that is most attractive of all – is that he has a beaming smile in both photos.
As for Olly, the man has clearly put himself through it over the last three months, so in what world are comments undermining that doing anyone any good?
The commentary that has always surrounded womens’ bodies now seems to appear more and more often in men’s spaces – and it’s disappointing. Not least of all because Olly is actually pretty ripped in both photos; despite comments about his ‘dad bod’ and ‘cuddly’ physique, he was still visibly strong.
But that goes a way to highlighting how truly twisted men’s body image is becoming.
With the rise of influencer culture, as more and more of us spend more time online in the perfection trap, we lose sight of reality. And within that, of course, there is the worry that brands will start taking advantage of the fact that a man’s insecurities might now be deemed as commercially valuable as a woman’s.
This has the potential to annihilate the confidence of so many boys, as has been done to so many millions of women over the years.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk.
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