This Celebrity Traitors 2025 winner was obvious from the start

Warning: This article contains spoilers for the first The Celebrity Traitors final.

So we have our Celebrity Traitors winner in what was the most unpredictable final of all time. 

But really, we should have seen it coming.

At the very beginning of this series, I wrote that comedian Alan Carr was going to prove us all wrong – but even I had no idea quite how wrong we’d be. Claudia Winkleman herself said: ‘He started as Linda [Rands] and ended as Harry [Clarke],’ referring to the very best and worst traitors we’ve ever seen.

Why?

I was always Team Traitors — and I always am, whether on the celebrity or civilian version of the show. Those given that honour have to play the hardest game, even if they’re the ones pulling the strings, keeping up that pretence solidly for a fortnight without tripping up at a single hurdle.

But Alan, specifically, has always been underestimated. His career has been built on his brilliant but self-deprecating humour — but, at his core, he is superbly sharp, deceptively intelligent, and one of the kindest people in showbiz. 

It’s the perfect cocktail for a sublime traitor – and an even better person. 

As an entertainment journalist, I’m often asked: ‘Who’s the best celebrity you’ve ever interviewed?’ Alan Carr has always been the first name that comes to my mind. 

It’s surprisingly rare to meet a star who treats you as a human being, shows a genuine interest in who you are, and doesn’t make you feel like they’re the most important person in the room.

Alan is so deserving of his post-Traitors big dog status — not because he’s been knighted or can’t find room on his mantelpiece for his collection of Baftas, but because he is so naturally a star and for the last decade or more has been inescapable.

On Uncloaked, he told host Ed Gamble: ‘I’m not worthy.’ Alan is so worthy of everything that’s about to come his way – and the only unworthy thing in his career was when his talk show ‘Chatty Man’ was unfairly cancelled. 

At no point this past week did I see Alan winning on his own. At the very least, I thought he’d win with singer Cat Burns – because they were such a savage team together. 

But the odds were very much in the faithful’s favour – particularly when they had two of the very best detectives we’ve ever seen in rugby star Joe Marler and actor Nick Mohammad. 

Every faithful left had both Alan and Cat in their firing line but through sheer force of personality, he managed to win them over right when it looked impossible.

It’s that same force of personality I’ve seen myself first hand, and the same force of personality that is going to send his fame to the stratosphere. 

Another whose career is set to get a post-show boost is Nick, who was easily the smartest game player this series.

But the Slow Horses star failed to trust his instinct and betrayed his closest ally. It was devastating to watch and clearly even more crushing to be a part of as rugby player Joe, also set for superstardom, was floored when he was unexpectedly banished, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. 

Why Nick or David Olusoga decided to give up on their alliance with three players left in the game will forever be a mystery.

Alan’s natural charm won Celebrity The Traitors, and let’s not forget, £87,500 of vital funds for a children’s cancer charity. 

Even when he couldn’t say with a straight face ‘I’m a faithful,’ openly strategised at full volume in front of the players, and belly-laughed whenever someone was murdered – his charm was his secret weapon.

He was unstoppable every episode – and he’s about to be unstoppable on our screens. 

It was the most justified result across any version of The Traitors. In a series when the faithful have been completely useless from the get-go, it had to be won by traitors.

I can honestly say without hyperbole that this has been one of the single best moments of television in my lifetime, right up there with Will Young winning Pop Idol over heartthrob Gareth Gates, a true watercooler moment when the entire country has never felt so divided and mistrusting of one another.

But Alan is the best of humanity. That might sound absurd, but in a world so angry at everyone else, we’ve all been brought together by a wonderful human being who has no idea how exceptional he really is.

So what’s next for our Celeb The Traitors champion?

Strictly? A revival of Chatty Man? A knighthood?

All of those accolades will be deserved, even if they bizarrely seem too small for him.

Alan has always been one of the most talented people on British television – ever since he made The Friday Night Project the closest thing Britain has had to Saturday Night Live. 

Everything he touches turns to gold whether it gets the ratings or not. Even his recently cancelled ITV game show Password was a misunderstood gem that at times was a total mess but put Alan on anything and it just works.

Everyone on The Celebrity Traitors – even with the unprecedented calibre of star power in this reality series – will, in their own way, be propelled to new levels of public adoration.

But no one deserves their flowers more than Alan.

He deserves the world – the biggest show the BBC has ever seen – and thank God he’s about to get it with rumours his cancelled Chatty Man is about to be revived. 

He’s the Beyoncé of British comedy, and it took Celebrity The Traitors to make it known. I cannot wait to see what’s next for Alan and we’re all so fortunate to watch it happen.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Ross.Mccafferty@metro.co.uk. 

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