I have good news and bad news from my little patch of paradise.
The good news is that I’m going to be saving a lot of money in the near future.
The bad news is that I’m saving it because I won’t be dining or shopping with my daughter.
No more suggestions from the beautiful daughter. “Hey, Mom, do you want to go to Costco with me?” Translation: Hey, bountiful goddess, do you want to buy me $100 worth of diapers?”
This has all changed because Curly Girl – my only daughter, whom I adopted when she was three – has now moved to northwestern Washington, near Canada, where she can be closer to her birth family and live more cheaply.
She also apparently likes the scenery more than here, which I’ve been led to believe consists mostly of rain.
She took both of my grandchildren – two-year-old Floyd and nine-month-old Mabel – with her, but left the husband at home, because he’s in a band and has to stay here to “make his music.”
Even though my wallet is going to thank me, I’m not thrilled with this turn of events. In fact, I’m realizing that when you have heartache, your heart actually aches. Why is that, anyway?
She’s already moved into a new place, across the street from her birth aunt, and for half the price she was paying here. And she already has a new job, bartending at a casino.
Well, her new town is the Chainsaw Carving Capitol of the Pacific Northwest, according to the state tourism bureau.
When I first started dragging my kids around the world on vacation, I used to worry that they’d grow to like foreign countries and want to move to one permanently. That never happened, thank heavens, but Curly Girl is getting close. Her new town is only 15 miles from the Canadian border.
I had a friend whose son – an only child – went to graduate school in Japan, married a Japanese woman and essentially moved there forever. This was a problem, because my friend was afraid to fly. So she’d just have to sit and wait for her son to feel like traveling 5,400 miles to see her.
So I guess I should be happy that my girl and her babies are a mere 1,100 miles away, right? She decided to go up there to be closer to her aunt, cousin and younger half-brother. She’s been up there numerous times to visit.
Her birth father was a successful tattoo artist who was fatally shot by police, and her birth mother is not really in the picture. Yeah, foster kids live with a lot of grief.
Curly Girl’s brother is deeply unhappy that she’s moved away and has already asked if he can move up there and live with her. I’m not too worried, though; he couldn’t handle all that rain.
I know many of you readers have also lived through the departure of your children for other climes. How did you survive?
I remember when the kids became teenagers and no longer wanted to spend time with me. In fact, they acted like I was covered with radioactive slime if I even tried to put my arm around them.
It took me a while to remember how to have my own life with my own friends again. And the kids got old enough to like me again and stopped cringing when I hugged them. So we all lived through that phase.
When Curly Girl moved out and got married, at first, I missed her terribly.
I didn’t know what to do with myself at midnight, when she used to come in from her night job at Starbucks, wake me up and tell me at great length about every single annoying customer who’d come in that day. But again, I accepted the change.
So, I suppose I’ll get used to shopping only for myself at Costco and making lunch at home instead of going out. All the impedimenta for babies I’ve bought will stay in the hall closet until they visit.
Meanwhile, I’ve decided to join CASA, which stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates for foster kids. CASA volunteers become friends with young people in foster care, take them on outings, advocate for them at school and report to the court about them. There aren’t nearly enough CASA volunteers for all the unfortunate kids who need one. So at least I’ll have another kid in my life. I’ll let you know how it goes. And you’re following me on Facebook, right? Facebook.com/FrumpyMiddleagedMom
Special note: Nearly every county in California has a CASA program, in case you want to learn more. You can attend a no-obligation orientation. The California website is at californiacasa.org.