DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a close friend who is also my lawyer.
Recently, I have found it awkward to talk to him about things because if I bring up sensitive issues, he may turn on his lawyer brain and then later suggest that I pay him for legal counsel; meanwhile, I thought we had just been talking as friends.
How can I draw the line with him on what is official legal business and what is friendship?
I don’t want to be disrespectful to him, but I also don’t know how to just be friends if I fear that he is going to bill me for his advice.
— Drawing the Line
DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Talk to your friend and express your concerns.
Make it clear that you appreciate him in all the ways — as a friend and as legal counsel — but you are finding it difficult to know which hat he is wearing sometimes.
Suggest that the only time you expect him to give you legal advice is when you hire him to do so. Make it official before discussing your problems. Otherwise, ask him to be willing to talk to you as your friend.
If he feels like a conversation is going too deep into his area of expertise, invite him to speak up and tell you that if you want to go further, this should be a professional engagement. It may add clarity if he signals his intention to bill you by inviting you to discuss the matter in his office.
This advice can be used for those of you who are therapists, coaches, instructors, etc. Whatever your skills, know when you’re offering a gift as a friend and when you should be compensated for it.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has invited me to attend a Juneteenth event at our local museum.
We often do cultural things together, so I’m down for going, but I feel uncomfortable because I have no idea what Juneteenth actually is. My hometown didn’t celebrate this when I was growing up.
Can you fill me in?
— Understanding History
DEAR UNDERSTANDING HISTORY: As of 2021, Juneteenth is an official federal holiday.
It commemorates June 19, 1865, the day when the enforcement of the Emancipation Proclamation was officially ordered in Texas.
This day came more than two years after President Abraham Lincoln signed the proclamation that declared slavery over. It took that time for soldiers to reach Galveston, Texas, and announce to the people on a plantation there that they were no longer enslaved, and for everyone to understand that their liberty was finally their own.
A celebration naturally broke out, and over the generations, people in Texas and throughout the South have acknowledged that day as sacred.
Over time, the word spread. In 1979, Juneteenth became an official state holiday in Texas.
Thanks to ongoing agitation and awareness-building — especially by activist Opal Lee, now 98 years old — President Joe Biden signed the Juneteenth National Independence Day Act into law on June 17, 2021.
This day celebrates a significant moment in American history, and I recommend that you attend the festivities and learn more about this part of the American story.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.