DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I’ve made up my mind that I’d like to have a fling while in Europe.
I haven’t quite mapped out whether I’d rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I’m here, but I do know I’d like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in a relationship at home.
My friends have been encouraging me to tell my partner my plans, but part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want something temporary and spontaneous to ruin the relationship I want to come home to.
My friends think I should trust my partner to be open-minded. I’m worried. My boyfriend and I have never even flirted with the idea of an open relationship, and just the mention of my summer interests may cause a breakup without even having done the deed.
Should I be honest, or should I just take Europe by storm and see how things pan out? It may not even happen.
— Summer Fling
DEAR SUMMER FLING: It seems you have given a lot of thought to the what-ifs without giving equal thought to the repercussions of those what-ifs.
Pause for a moment. You are young. This is the beginning of your adult life. How do you want to live it? Do you want to become someone who lies, or do you want to live your truth — whatever that is?
While it may seem difficult right now to tell your partner of your interests, if you tell him that you care for him deeply but want to hold space for a romantic experience while you are away, you will have told the truth and created a path for the two of you to grow together in your young relationship.
If you lie and he finds out, you will be dealing with trust issues, which can be insurmountable.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been stuck in a rut. I lost my job a few months ago and have been having a rough time landing a new one.
At first, I decided to focus my energy on having a more positive mindset. It was working for several months; I was feeling much better mentally, and I was quite hopeful, reminding myself that whatever’s meant for me will happen.
The economy has me concerned, though. I keep applying for jobs, to no avail. I keep seeing everyone around me achieving more and growing in their careers, and I feel left behind. I am losing hope.
How can I take care of myself emotionally and financially as we approach a possible recession?
— Losing Hope
DEAR LOSING HOPE: Stop comparing yourself to others. Continue to look for work, but look more broadly. Search outside your natural career trajectory.
As the economy tightens, consider alternative jobs so that you can have an income. Get creative. Cut your expenses as dramatically as you can.
Stay active. Exercise, eat healthy and volunteer somewhere to help others who are in need. Believe it or not, serving others can brighten your spirit.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.