DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I decided to break up. It was mutual.
We both had our own grievances, and, in my opinion, we’d hit our peak. I don’t think staying together any longer would’ve made a great difference for either of us.
Things got complicated because we lived together in a two-bedroom apartment. To be amicable, I offered to take the guest bedroom and stay out of her hair until our lease was up.
She blew up and said she’d rather us not live together after breaking up. She said one month should be enough time for me to find a new place.
For context, I’ve paid our full rent, happily, for the past year and a half, so yes, I think her suggestion is ludicrous and unfair.
I feel betrayed. How do I reason with someone like this?
— Ultimatum
DEAR ULTIMATUM: It’s time for you to develop a backbone. Kindly but firmly tell your ex that she has two choices: She can move out now or as soon as she can, or she can be OK with you being in the guest room.
Remind her that you have paid for your home the entire time the two of you have lived there. Yes, you did it happily, but now that you are parting ways, you are unwilling to inconvenience yourself due to her discomfort with the living situation.
Things might get hostile for a bit, but she needs to understand that you are not a pushover.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just finished reading the letter from “Bad Referral,” the reader whose home renovation work was left unfinished by a contractor.
The Better Business Bureau is a good idea, but they’re pretty toothless if the contractor won’t respond. My suggestion is to contact the state’s attorney general’s office or check the state’s website and report this contractor.
They may not be the only victims, and if they have the proof, I’d seriously think about taking this fella to small claims court or contacting a lawyer. What he has done is criminal.
— Anonymous
DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your letter represents the sentiments of many readers who warned that the Better Business Bureau could be a dead end but the state attorney’s office could yield results. Thank you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: In reply to “Bad Referral,” regarding a shoddy window installation job, you forgot to tell them to reach out to their local contractors’ board.
I can guarantee you that, if the installer had a license, the board will definitely come down on them if they want to keep it! Otherwise, it may possibly root out an unlicensed contractor.
A lot of times, the reason they give such a screaming deal is because they are not licensed. We’ve had that happen a lot here in Las Vegas. If they are not licensed, the contractor’s board will go after them with criminal complaints and liens against anything that they own to recover for the complainants.
— Fact Check
DEAR FACT CHECK: Yes, this is another smart way to retaliate when a contractor cheats and steals money.
If you find yourself in a similar position, look for the official arbiters of standards for that industry to help you hold people’s feet to the fire.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.