I was bullied after being outed at work – then I turned the table on my colleagues

Deon Pillay has won awards for his diversity and inclusion initiatives, but not after facing bullying discrimination because of his sexuality (Picture: Supplied)

Deon Pillay came to the UK with nothing but a suitcase and a £2.65 an hour job, all in a bid to find freedom as a gay man.

Instead, he was forced ‘back into the closet’ to avoid discrimination and bullying in the workplace – only to be publicly outed and shamed in front of his colleagues years later.

At the age of 24, the new graduate from South Africa took up a holiday visa to clean toilets in a hotel in Basingstoke to escape the homophobia in his home community.

‘Gay people were seen as a disease,’ Deon said.

‘I chose to leave everything in South Africa to have my freedom, to be me.’

Within three years, he landed a job in the City, but his success came at a price.

‘Going into the finance world, I had to go back into the closet again. It was challenging,’ said the now 47-year-old.

‘You can’t be yourself because you are scared of losing your job. I was always having to lie and make up girlfriends I never had.

‘It was not a great place for gay people.

‘People working on the trading floors were being bullied and losing their jobs because of their sexuality.’

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The now diversity champion was forced into the closet for years due to workplace culture (Picture: Deon Pillay)

After keeping his head down and hiding his sexuality at work for a decade, his cover came tumbling down at the leaving drinks of a colleague in 2017.

Deon, who had told only two trusted work friends of his identity, went to leave the chatty and fun evening when a different male colleague aggressively called him a ‘homo’ and a ‘f*****’ in front of the gathering.

‘I was in shock, I stood there wanting the ground to open up and to be swallowed in,’ Deon recalled.

‘I paused and instantly my shock went to anger and I walked off and turned back and said, “I like men, but not ugly men like you.”

‘I walked off very angry. Then I got to Moorgate Station and the panic set in. Everyone was going to know.

‘I didn’t sleep the whole night.’

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The bullying, discrimination and exclusion, that he had long feared, began the very next morning after his public outing.

His boss told him to keep quiet about his sexuality because ‘he had already caused enough problems,’ and his colleagues throughout the office were obviously discussing him.

Another boss would make humiliating comments about him, and other senior staff members would try to take credit for his work.

Deon said: ‘It was like the bullying at school, then happening in the workspace.

‘My career stagnated. It went from every year being promoted, being the next in line to take over a job. Then suddenly, I got overlooked every single time.

‘You have people who are very strong and resilient, like myself, who can withstand these storms. There are others who take their lives.’

Deon Pillay was able to endure isolation and bullying at work, but warns that many would not be able to (Picture: Deon Pillay)

Two years later, Deon was able to confront his colleagues with the reality of their treatment towards him.

In exchange for helping the company’s LGBT Network, he insisted that a video be played to the workforce, with him narrating his experience and the impact it had.

After the clip ran in front of his colleagues, everything changed. The CEO came up to him and personally apologised, and the next morning he had 70 emails in his inbox from others pledging to do better.

He went on to begin start-up InterInvest, a network of investment professionals which aims to drive LGBT+ equality and policy across the investment management industry.

InterInvest now has the support and co-operation of over 40 firms in the City.

The keynote speaker now works as Head of Marketing Technology, Enablement & Governance at the financial services and asset management company Legal and General, which has won countless awards for LGBTQ+ inclusion in the last few years.

Deon, who is nominated for LGBT+ Business Leader Of The Year in Metro’s Pride Awards, feels comfortable and his authentic self at Legal and General, but warns that LGBTQ+ people still face discrimination and isolation in workplaces across London.

Deon now runs inclusion and diversity events across the finance world, including a South Asian Heritage Month (picture supplied)

He said: ‘It is massively better now, but people make assumptions that everything is fine.

‘You’d be surprised what happens in the City, even now I hear horror stories and I’m shocked.

‘Being bullied at work is still a thing for some people. They are being bullied at work because they present slightly differently to what is deemed to be heteronormative.

‘From all our member firms at InterInvest, there’s definitely a commitment to make a difference.

‘Companies have responsibility to make sure they have a support mechanism in place, especially around health and wellbeing.’

For the diversity champion, it is all about enforcing workplace policies, and standing up to the often-overlooked jokes and comments, that can work together to improve workplace safety and inclusion for LGBTQ+ people.

‘We are seeing tighter policies around bullying, harassment, that in the industry.

‘People have been held accountable to policy as they’re getting their first warning or being dismissed from work because it’s not acceptable.

‘Discrimination is often done now as banter. We need to call it out and educate.’

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