I can still remember my father’s words: “We’re gonna make it” and “Leaders help people to be the best that they can be.”
Now, in his absence, I find myself finding new ways to carry on the lessons he left behind. Before November, I had always heard — in church and in conversations in school — about people losing family members, but I never expected to experience it so suddenly myself.
On Nov. 9, my father, Philip Grooms, passed away unexpectedly from heart failure at 54. After that night, everything felt like a fever dream. I remember feeling like time was speeding up, and I honestly can’t remember what I did or how I was feeling after that night.
My dad was a man who helped others, so I continue to try my hardest to carry on that trait. My father was a man of unwavering principles, a person who believed in resilience and perseverance.
He taught me the value of hard work, the importance of integrity and the necessity of kindness.
Those lessons have become the compass by which I now navigate through life. As I look toward the future, I find myself reflecting on how I can embody these values in a way that would make him proud.
Despite the tragedy, I am proud to say that I am “looking ahead.”
My dad, a Chicago Fire Department paramedic field chief, taught me many lessons about being a leader and staying strong, and although sometimes his nagging used to bug me, I now understand the true meaning and value of his words. They’ve continued to help me stay strong and help me continue to thrive in school, even in this tough time.
I also make sure my mental health is strong because without that, moving forward would be even tougher.
I got in contact with a counselor at my school, and I’ve made sure to keep meeting with her weekly.
Family also has become an even greater priority in my life. I’ve found that we’ve grown closer, leaning on each other for support and finding solace in shared memories.
For example, I got in contact with my dad’s sister after not seeing her since I was very young.
I want to continue fostering these bonds, ensuring that the love and unity he cultivated remain strong.
In looking ahead, I’ve come to realize that loss and love are intertwined.
The pain of losing my father is a reflection of how deeply he was loved and how much he shaped my life. His absence will always be felt, his presence remains in the values he instilled, the memories we shared and the person I am because of him.
Looking ahead is not about leaving him behind; it’s about carrying him with me in everything I do.
As I step into the future, I do so with a heart that is both heavy with loss and full of gratitude. Gratitude for the time we had, for the lessons he taught me and for the love that will forever be a part of me.
Looking ahead after my father’s passing is a journey of honoring his life by living my own to the fullest, guided always by the light he left behind.