Long lost love and bitter breakups – the story behind the OG social network

25 years ago, tweeting was something only birds did, an influencer was not yet a job title, and Facebook could be mistaken for something that might happen if you fell asleep while reading.

Social media was very much in its infancy, but one groundbreaking website called Friends Reunited provided an early premonition of the power it would soon hold in our lives.

Founded by spouses Steve and Julie Pankhurst and their friend Jason Porter in June 2000, Friends Reunited users could set up a profile by inputting their school and years of attendance to find anyone who overlapped. The UK-based platform truly appealed to our innate curiosity of ‘I wonder what happened to them?’ 

At its peak, Friends Reunited had three million users and, in 2005, the three founders sold it to ITV for £175million. Steve and Julie, each received £30 million, while Jason received £20 million. However, with new platforms such as Myspace and Facebook entering the social media circus, four years later, the site was sold to DC Thompson for just £25m in 2009. 

After those early, heady years of curiosity, Friends Reuinted finally logged out of our lives in 2016, with Steve announcing in a blog post that the ‘sunset of an era’ had taken hold. With only a handful of users and industry giants proving unbeatable, the website was over.

Although the URL no longer exists, the evidence of its time online can still be found everywhere, from wholesome reunions and romances to a surge in divorces as bored husbands and wives connected with old flames. 

To mark 25 years since the launch of Friends Reunited, three people tell Metro how it wrecked and rekindled their relationships.

Jo Jacob, 54: ‘I may never have married my husband without it’

‘In 2001, a good friend of mine asked me, “Have you heard of Friends Reunited? It’s really cool.” Intrigued to see what it was all about, I set up a profile. The next day, I got a message from Steve saying, “I remember you”. We both went to the same school in the mid-80s, but to my knowledge, we’d never spoken as he was in the year below. I did know who he was, though, because he lived opposite my best friend.

Soon, we were regularly chatting over email, and he constantly made me laugh. He admitted in one message that he’d had a big crush on me at school, which was flattering. 

After six weeks, I agreed to meet him at a local pub for a date. Three years before, I had unexpectedly become a single mother three weeks before giving birth to my son Ben, and hadn’t had a serious relationship since, so I was quite nervous. I didn’t know if I could trust anybody again.

I recognised Steve straight away, but without wanting to sound horrible, I was very happy he didn’t look like he did at school. Steve is like a fine wine and has got an awful lot more handsome. He’s now 6 ft 2, and I’d always wanted a tall partner, so that was a tick too. 

We sat for hours in the corner of that pub talking. I came with baggage, so I knew it would take a certain someone to understand and not be jealous. Steve did that with ease.

He was so lovely that my friends did say, “I think Steve Jacobs is too nice for you”. In my 20s, that might have been the case, but I’d matured out of that phase of wanting bad boys, so we had a little kiss in the car park while saying goodbye.

It was a whirlwind of lovely dates and fun holidays after that. I’d drop off Ben with his dad on his weekends and go straight to Steve’s flat. He’d hand over a glass of wine and immediately run me a bath. 

A few months later, Steve met Ben, and that’s when I realised he was a keeper. Ben even started calling Steve dad. Eleanor joined our family in February 2004, and then we got married in August, so we’ll be celebrating 21 years soon.

When we talk about how we met again on Friends Reunited, often people don’t even know what we’re talking about. But I’ll always be grateful to the website because if it didn’t exist, we might never have started speaking again, and we wouldn’t have our wonderful life together. 

I just love him. I love his personality. I love his kindness. I love everything about him.’ 

Steve, 53: ‘ It took a while, but in the end, I got my dream girl’

‘Everyone knew who Jo was because she was one of the prettiest girls at school. I always had a crush on her — I’d even watch from my window when she’d walk to her friend’s house. I liked her, but felt like I didn’t ever stand a chance. I didn’t have many choices for girlfriends at school. In fact, I had none. 

I recently found my old diary, and in one entry, I describe bumping into Jo while I was at college. I was playing squash with my friends and saw Jo walk past the glass walls. She was an aerobics instructor, so she was leaving a class. I rushed out so I could chat with her. 

I wrote: “Oh my god, best day ever, spoke to Jo for ages. She’s so nice.” We checked Jo’s diary from the same day, and I wasn’t even mentioned. 

I didn’t sign up to Friends Reunited to see Jo again, but was pleased when I found her profile, and very quickly got in touch. I’d had a few catch-ups on there, but none had lasted longer than five minutes, but with Jo, we couldn’t stop talking.

I hadn’t met anyone I considered marrying before Jo, and I wasn’t interested in having children at that point in my life, but she changed everything.

At our wedding, I had to mention in my speech that we “re-met” on Friends Reunited. It took a while, but in the end, I got my dream girl.’

Mark 49*: ‘Friends Reunited undid thirteen years of marriage in four weeks’

‘Friends Reunited put the final nail in the coffin of my marriage just after my thirteenth wedding anniversary. The relationship had been on life support for many years. We had a young child and a home life which revolved around them. As a couple, we barely went out and had become friends at best.

I was never bothered about looking up my old school friends or work colleagues, figuring that if I’d wanted to stay in touch, I would have. But my ex happily set up an account, filled in her details and began stalking old classmates. She started messaging one former friend who decided to set up a small reunion. This was in the late noughties, when the whole school reunion thing was having its heyday. 

In hindsight, it was incredibly naive not to have been the least bit concerned that my wife was meeting her childhood sweetheart for drinks, along with a few others, in a local pub.

But none of us quite understood the power of social media back then. Friends Reunited allowed people a window to the past that had previously been closed. Now we can barely fathom a time when it wasn’t easy to stay in touch with everyone, no matter where they are, or indeed to trace an ex-lover.

I don’t know what went on that night, but I can guess. She came home in the early hours, long after the pubs had shut, and merely said how great it had been to catch up on a few old faces the next morning. I asked who was there, she reeled off names, one of whom was her former first love.

Her behaviour started to change almost immediately, small things, out of character. We’d never bothered locking our phones — this was pre-smartphone brick Nokias — or even carrying them around with us in the house. They stayed on the side in the kitchen. But now my wife carried her phone everywhere, the screen lock was on, and unlike before, it was permanently on silent.  

When the second ‘reunion’ was organised for the following week, my suspicions heightened. I had a gut feeling but felt bad about being suspicious, so I said nothing.

Over the following weeks, she started to buy new clothes and going out more socially, once or twice a week. It was totally out of character, but I didn’t want to look like a jealous husband, so even encouraged her.

Around a month after the first reunion, she told me she wanted a separation. I was not surprised. She admitted she had been seeing her school sweetheart. Friends Reunited had undone thirteen years of marriage in around four weeks – although in fairness, the rot had set in long before.

Initially, I was devastated. It felt like the future we’d planned had been taken away. I didn’t want to split up for the sake of our child, but she was adamant; she wanted to be with this guy. Soon after, he left his wife, and she moved in with him. We kept everything friendly and divorced a year later. Today, she is still with him, living an equally humdrum life, while I met an amazing woman and have never been happier. So, by that regard, I owe Friends Reunited a debt of gratitude.’

*Names have been changed

Jo Jacob runs a professional home organiser business called Benella, and Steve Jacob founded Hometown Events.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Josie.Copson@metro.co.uk 

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