DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend I have known for over 30 years and consider my best friend.
She treated me to dinner at a very expensive restaurant, and as we were leaving, she smiled and showed me that she had put a butter knife in her purse.
I was shocked and dismayed, and it must have shown on my face. I said, “Really? You would really do that?” She told me that the restaurant had made plenty of money on the meal.
Should I have said or done more? I’m still disappointed that my friend would be dishonest and show such a lack of class. If it ever happens again, what should I do?
GENTLE READER: Whether you should have done more is a question for the Morals Department, not the Etiquette Department.
But why, Miss Manners wonders, are you anticipating going on another heist with this person? There is no reason to respond to future invitations, as there would be no point in trying to give a lengthy explanation to such an individual as to why you do not wish to be an Accessory to the Theft of Accessories, either before or after the fact.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: After well over a year of enduring political campaigning, we are quite fatigued from it all. The results were quite disappointing to us.
Then our dear neighbor announced they are mounting a campaign to run for a state district office and requested our substantial financial and fundraising support.
While understanding the need for a yearslong strategic process to achieve this goal, we have concerns.
Physically and financially, we are not in a place to participate. But even if we were able, we do not feel this individual has the skill, knowledge or ability to adequately represent our district. In fact, they have never run for, much less been elected to, any office at any time.
There also exist aspects of their past which would become political fodder in the hands of any opponent’s negative campaign.
This is an individual we socialize with frequently. How do we politely communicate to such a strong-willed, but unskilled, individual that we and many others feel they are simply not right for the job?
When the announcement was made, we seriously thought they were joking due to the perceived inability to attain, much less perform in, such an important government capacity.
GENTLE READER: Gentle readers often ask Miss Manners how to respond to questions put to them for which there does not appear to be any polite answer.
But you were not asked the question you wish to answer, namely, how to tell the person they are unqualified. You were asked if you would support them for state office.
The answer to that question is that you wish them well, but you are too fatigued after enduring a year of political campaigning. Assuming you are not a political consultant by profession, that is a question you are fully qualified to answer.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.