So he couldn’t just leave it alone? Couldn’t just let another someone — someone in a whole ’nother GOAT conversation — express his feelings openly without feeling the need to chime in? Couldn’t just say nothing and sit this one out?
Naw, never that, because that’s not what he does. He’s Tom Brady. Sun to all of you — us — planets.
See, what had happened was innocent. Scottie Scheffler, the best golfer alive, the No. 1 player in the world, the front-runner for Athlete of the Year this year (an award he honestly should have won last year), the first member of golf’s society to enter into their GOAT conversation since Tiger Woods resurrected it, was asked a question about ‘‘motivation’’ before winning the Open Championship last month at Royal Portrush. His answer sparked a rare revelation.
‘‘I’m blessed to be able to come out here and play golf,’’ he said. ‘‘But if my golf ever started affecting my home life or it ever affected the relationship I have with my wife or my son, that’s going to be the last day that I play out here for a living.’’
Finally. The atypical life balance in sports. Except . . .
Yep, Brady took exception.
‘‘We all have different parts of our lives. You can think of them like a pyramid,’’ he wrote in response to Scheffler’s comments in his weekly 199 notebook. ‘‘At the top is yourself, and your physical, mental, and emotional health. Then there’s the relationship with your significant other or partner. Then you have your children, then your work, then your extended family, your friends, your hobbies, and finally your greater community.’’
Please notice the order. Me, me, me, me, then significant other, then kids, then work, then family, friends, hobbies and community. And he had the impertinence to title his newsletter entry to Scheffler: ‘‘Your actions reflect your priorities.’’
For Brady to act like that philosophy and procedure worked for him — as his wife divorced him because he literally chose his football career over her, breaking up his family dynamic — to the point he felt comfortable enough to send an open newsletter to Scheffler on how he should think is one of the greatest displays of whatever form of privilege you want to call it ever put on display.
It’s like Steve Harvey writing a book about relationships and commitment. Damn, I forgot, we already fell for that. Apparently, Scheffler’s ‘‘life goes on’’ answer was the perfect answer, but it rubbed ‘‘Superman’’ the wrong way.
The work/life balance shifts when the work part transforms into career, greatness and legacy. Most greats in sports have chosen the Brady-thought route. That’s why most of sports’ greats are miserable. Not about their careers but of the choices they made in building those legendary careers and many of the eventual outcomes that came as a result of their sacrifices. In putting championship rings, trophies and GOAT-ness ahead of keeping their family intact.
Wisdom is not what Brady’s imparting; it’s hypocrisy and the epitome of self-selfishness. It’s tone-deaf arrogance coming from a man who chose football over his marriage and family being a forever singular unit. It’s football’s greatest player saying to golf’s Tom Brady: The ‘‘father in the home’’ thing was not the best form of fatherhood when it came to making a decision on my football résumé, so don’t make it yours.
Wrong message, wronger messenger.
The difference in what Scheffler said and what Brady said in response is simple: Scheffler sees family/fatherhood/marriage as one; Brady sees family/fatherhood/marriage as three individual components.
Truth is, both ways are capable of functioning. One’s just far less disruptive and painful to others than the other. Brady eventually chose football over his family. Scheffler right now doesn’t see himself ever choosing golf over his. Which is something someone does not need to retort against, especially from someone who chose a career ending over a marriage.
The two best things you will ever pull from social media about this are, ‘‘Out of all the unimportant things, football is the most important.’’ Followed by, ‘‘That’s my golf mantra: ‘Every shot counts, none of them matters.’ ’’
Perspective. Still undefeated.
The absolute: You can be obsessively driven by dominance within your craft and can be unconditionally monolithic in your approach to leaving an ‘‘unattainable by anyone else’’ legacy in the sport (or in all sports, in the case of those few) you have found a way to master. But once you begin to think and believe that your immediate family dynamic becomes secondary to those thoughts and dreams, there is no longer any such thing as balance in your life.
And once you feel it a requirement to call into question someone else for having that type of balance in their life — especially having it while they are in the ‘‘best ever’’ conversation in their chosen profession maybe before you were in yours — it’s time for you to realize that you are closer to a ‘‘son’’ than a ‘‘Sun.’’
But then again, he’s Tom Brady. And that’s not what Tom Bradys do. Because, well, they don’t know any better.