Steve Smith marked his temporary return as Australia’s Ashes captain with a bizarre attack on former England spinner Monty Panesar.
Panesar recently called on travelling fans and media to barrack Smith over his role in the ‘Sandpapergate’ ball-tampering scandal seven years ago, saying he should be made to feel “guilty” about standing in as Pat Cummins’ replacement skipper.
Rather than let those comments pass, Smith took a curious tangent at his press conference on the eve of the first Test in Perth.
In what appeared to be a well-rehearsed response, Smith moved to discredit Panesar’s opinion with a detailed reference to a gaffe-ridden appearance on Celebrity Mastermind in 2019.
Panesar, who last year flirted with the idea of standing as an MP for George Galloway’s Workers Party of Britain, went viral for a sequence of illogical answers during a general knowledge grilling by presenter John Humphrys.
‘I’m going to go off topic here, who in the room has seen Mastermind, and Monty Panesar on that? Any of you?’ he said before referencing some specific answers from the clip.
‘Those of you that have will understand where I’m coming from. If you haven’t, do yourself a favour because it is pretty comical. Anyone that believes that Athens is in Germany, that’s a start, or that Oliver Twist is a season of the year and America is a city.
Could you do better than Monty Panesar on Mastermind?
Q: How many pockets are there on a full-sized snooker table?
Monty’s answer: Six ✅
Q: Which sign of the zodiac is represented by a crab?
Monty’s answer:. Sagittar- Scorpion ❌
Q: What is the title of A.A. Milne’s stage adaptation of Kenneth Grahame’s children’s novel, The Wind in the Willow?
Monty’s answer: Harry Potter ❌
Q: Henry VIII had three wives called Catherine, two called Anne and another who died shortly after she gave birth to the future Edward VI. What was her name?
Monty’s answer: Elizabeth ❌
Q: What is the standard international unit of absolute temperature? It is indicated by the letter K
Monty’s answer: Oh gosh… pass ❌
Q: Which Asian island city state is served by Changi International Airport
Monty’s answer: Shanghai ❌
Q: Birds described as ‘pelagic’ spend most of their lives flying over what?
Monty’s answer: The sky ❌
Q: In what ’97 film do a group of unemployed men in Sheffield become strippers for a night in their local Working Men’s Club?
Monty’s answer: The Dream Boys ❌
Q:I n which city is the Olympiastadion, built for the 1972 Olympics and where Germany’s national football team played international matches until 2001?
Monty’s answer: Oh gosh, Athens ❌
Q: What is the title of the first volume of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia to be published? Chronologically, it follows The Magician’s Nephew
Monty’s answer: C.J. Lewis ❌
Q:. Kimberlite and igneous rock, named after the South African city of Kimberley, is a rich source of what very precious stones
Monty’s answer: Pass ❌
Q: What were the five guys named in the title of the hit musical that was a tribute to the jazz bluesman Louis Jordan?
Monty’s answer: Pass ❌
Q:. In an 1819 poem, what season of the year does Keats describe as ‘a season of mist and mellow fruitfulness’?
Monty’s answer: Oliver Twist ❌
Q: In which city is the television comedy series, Cheers, set?
Monty’s answer: America ❌
Q: What national survey has been held in Britain every 10 years since 1801, except for 1941 because of the Second World War?
Monty’s answer: Pffft ❌
‘It doesn’t really bother me, those comments. That’s as far as I’ll go with that one.’
Smith’s unexpected diatribe drew laughs from the room but going hard at a retired player who last played Test cricket in 2013 suggests Panesar may have succeeded in getting under the skin of a batter who will be key to Australia’s Ashes success.
As well as picking a fight with Panesar, Smith confirmed an Australia XI with two 31-year-old debutants included.
As expected, South Australia seamer Brendan Doggett has edged Michael Neser as Josh Hazlewood’s replacement, while Jake Weatherald steps up as opener.
Test dates and UK times
First Test – Optus Stadium, Perth
Start date: November 21
UK start time: 2.30am
First session: 2.30-4.30am
Second session: 5.10-7.10am
Final session: 7.30-9.30am
Second Test – The Gabba, Brisbane
Start date: December 4
UK start time: 4.30am (day/night match)
First session: 4.30-6.30am
Second session: 7.10-9.10am
Final session: 9.30-11.30am
Third Test – Adelaide Oval, Adelaide
Start date: December 17
UK start time: 12am
First session: 12-2am
Second session: 2.40-4.40am
Final session: 5-7am
Fourth Test – MCG, Melbourne
Start date: December 25
UK start time: 11.30pm
First session: 11.30pm-1.30am
Second session: 2.10-4.10am
Final session: 4.30-6.30am
Fifth Test – SCG, Sydney
Start date: January 3
UK start time: 11.30pm
First session: 11.30pm-1.30am
Second session: 2.10-4.10am
Final session: 4.30-6.30am
With Marnus Labuschagne returning at number three, there is no place for all-rounder Beau Webster, who can count himself unlucky after enjoying a bright start to his Baggy Greens career.
‘It was very tricky,’ Smith admitted.
‘I think Beau came into international cricket and lit it up immediately, so I think it’s a really tough one on him. He’s the one that misses out unfortunately.
‘But I think with Marnus, when he’s batting at his best at number three, it makes us a very, very good cricket side. We couldn’t really leave him out. When he’s batting, well, it’s tough to leave him out.’